[kire]

Hi Debbie, i hope you are ok , I agree with Ash it sounds like his in total denial that he has an issue and I don’t think there is anything you can do or say at the moment that will change his mind, however I can’t give much advice as I’ve only known about my partners use since last week as I think he realised he was about to lose everything house me the kids everything .. so I’m taking this one day at a time and happy with his attitude about it at the moment but I know there’s still along road ahead . I’m not sure what I’d do if I had found out and he was in denial , wel I know the right thing to do would be to just pack us all up and leave . But that’s a lot easier said than done.

I think back now how naive I was , he would stay up till 4/5am ‘watching movies’ and I remember been suspicious and creeping downstairs to catch him doing I don’t know what and sometimes he would be in the kitchen looking a bit shady and would say just getting some water or something like that and me would say ‘ok hun night’ ! I’m thinking maybe I’ve always known but I was in denial , Christ the lies they tell to hide it, not sure when I’ll be able to properly trust him again now that I know !

[kire]

Hi Debbie, i hope you are ok , I agree with Ash it sounds like his in total denial that he has an issue and I don’t think there is anything you can do or say at the moment that will change his mind, however I can’t give much advice as I’ve only known about my partners use since last week as I think he realised he was about to lose everything house me the kids everything .. so I’m taking this one day at a time and happy with his attitude about it at the moment but I know there’s still along road ahead . I’m not sure what I’d do if I had found out and he was in denial , wel I know the right thing to do would be to just pack us all up and leave . But that’s a lot easier said than done.

I think back now how naive I was , he would stay up till 4/5am ‘watching movies’ and I remember been suspicious and creeping downstairs to catch him doing I don’t know what and sometimes he would be in the kitchen looking a bit shady and would say just getting some water or something like that and me would say ‘ok hun night’ ! I’m thinking maybe I’ve always known but I was in denial , Christ the lies they tell to hide it, not sure when I’ll be able to properly trust him again now that I know !

[kire]

Hi Debbie, i hope you are ok , I agree with Ash it sounds like his in total denial that he has an issue and I don’t think there is anything you can do or say at the moment that will change his mind, however I can’t give much advice as I’ve only known about my partners use since last week as I think he realised he was about to lose everything house me the kids everything .. so I’m taking this one day at a time and happy with his attitude about it at the moment but I know there’s still along road ahead . I’m not sure what I’d do if I had found out and he was in denial , wel I know the right thing to do would be to just pack us all up and leave . But that’s a lot easier said than done.

I think back now how naive I was , he would stay up till 4/5am ‘watching movies’ and I remember been suspicious and creeping downstairs to catch him doing I don’t know what and sometimes he would be in the kitchen looking a bit shady and would say just getting some water or something like that and me would say ‘ok hun night’ ! I’m thinking maybe I’ve always known but I was in denial , Christ the lies they tell to hide it, not sure when I’ll be able to properly trust him again now that I know !

[kire]

Hi Debbie, i hope you are ok , I agree with Ash it sounds like his in total denial that he has an issue and I don’t think there is anything you can do or say at the moment that will change his mind, however I can’t give much advice as I’ve only known about my partners use since last week as I think he realised he was about to lose everything house me the kids everything .. so I’m taking this one day at a time and happy with his attitude about it at the moment but I know there’s still along road ahead . I’m not sure what I’d do if I had found out and he was in denial , wel I know the right thing to do would be to just pack us all up and leave . But that’s a lot easier said than done.

I think back now how naive I was , he would stay up till 4/5am ‘watching movies’ and I remember been suspicious and creeping downstairs to catch him doing I don’t know what and sometimes he would be in the kitchen looking a bit shady and would say just getting some water or something like that and me would say ‘ok hun night’ ! I’m thinking maybe I’ve always known but I was in denial , Christ the lies they tell to hide it, not sure when I’ll be able to properly trust him again now that I know !

[kire]

Thanks everyone for the replies , there is a CA meeting on at the weekend I’ll say it to him later in the week , his also booked in for some assessment to see how to get better I think .. but his used since he was 17 , but as I said never really questioned it too much as I didn’t know him before he had got clean with a respectable job etc. so this is such a shock for me.. feel very naive now .. hoping it ll just go away ! Like if he hadn’t told me I would of just thought he was going through a midlife crisis or turning into a grumpy angry man.. now I feel like I’m going to be watching him like a hawk . I’ve taken all his bank cards from him he requested me do to this , and blocked his dealer who he has disguise as a friend ! He even had a kid same age as my kid and he use to use them having a play date to get his drug I guess .. but then I find out his mum and brother knew this guy was his dealer 20 years ago and was never a mate , like hello why would they not mention this to me .. also he was getting drug from another old mate I’ve asked him not to see him again either to which he has said ok .. but he called him a mate how is he a mate if his giving him drugs knowing he has 4 young kids !

I’m hopeful atm but I’ll keep you all posted .

Whenever he talked about drugs in the past he would say they were fun and he had a great time , I did use to think why isn’t he saying they are awful things and they could ruin lives , now I know cause he was still using ! I worry for our kids with that sort of attitude .. Christ have so much to talk about with him , don’t know where to start as I rather just bury my head in the sand …

Reading all these posts and every Google article on cocaine addiction I’m learning alot I never knew , what an evil drug !!!

[kire]

Hi , I’ve quickly read some of the posts on this forum and they are not filling me with lots of hope.

My story is , I have been with my partner for 8 years and we have 4 children together , he told me at the start about his drug past but it was his past ,so I never really questioned him about it ..

We have a happy life however sometimes in the few years his been stressed his got angry and shouted some names occasionally at me , and once or twice thrown something at me but never hit me. But I could still tell his behaviour was not normal and his reactions to simple conversations were just ridiculous and out of control. I have always put it down to work stress , stress of raising young kids etc. however the last couple of years it been like living with Jekyll and Hyde never knowing which one is coming through the door ! Again it never crossed my mind it was drugs ..

until 4 days ago we were driving home from our holiday and he just lost it, broke up with me said his done, I’m disrespectful , accused me of mocking him and talking about him behind his back , the paranoid thoughts coming out of his mouth were unreal .. then that night when we got home he started accusing me of been unfaithful etc. I just said you need to go to the spare room ! He then came in admitted his been using cocaine , I’m in absolute and utter shock .. I feel sick I feel like I’m in some nightmare… he says his told me now because he wants to get better and wants to take the first steps and that ll he ll do anything I want .

Now I’m thinking lots and I remember time when we d be in the house and he d lock himself in the toilet which was weird so I had suspicions but never truly believed he d be doing drugs ! That was when our kids were in the house and he must of done it when alone with our kids like is this forgive-able..

can he get clean ,??

Or do I just leave now , I’ve said I’ll give him a chance .. but his lied to me soo much over the last number of years how will I know if he lies again … sorry this is a ramble I just have no one to talk too , if I told my family they d not understand and tell me leave straight away..

I see some of you have said get him to do regular urine tests , does this work ? At least I’d know if he was lying or not ..

Also have you gone to couples therapy or individual therapy etc ?

[kire]

Hi , I’ve quickly read some of the posts on this forum and they are not filling me with lots of hope.

My story is , I have been with my partner for 8 years and we have 4 children together , he told me at the start about his drug past but it was his past ,so I never really questioned him about it ..

We have a happy life however sometimes in the few years his been stressed his got angry and shouted some names occasionally at me , and once or twice thrown something at me but never hit me. But I could still tell his behaviour was not normal and his reactions to simple conversations were just ridiculous and out of control. I have always put it down to work stress , stress of raising young kids etc. however the last couple of years it been like living with Jekyll and Hyde never knowing which one is coming through the door ! Again it never crossed my mind it was drugs ..

until 4 days ago we were driving home from our holiday and he just lost it, broke up with me said his done, I’m disrespectful , accused me of mocking him and talking about him behind his back , the paranoid thoughts coming out of his mouth were unreal .. then that night when we got home he started accusing me of been unfaithful etc. I just said you need to go to the spare room ! He then came in admitted his been using cocaine , I’m in absolute and utter shock .. I feel sick I feel like I’m in some nightmare… he says his told me now because he wants to get better and wants to take the first steps and that ll he ll do anything I want .

Now I’m thinking lots and I remember time when we d be in the house and he d lock himself in the toilet and say his doing a poo and I had suspicions but never truly believed he d be doing drugs ! That was when our kids were in the house and he must of done it when alone with our kids like is this forgive-able..

can he get clean ,??

Or do I just leave now , I’ve said I’ll give him a chance .. but his lied to me soo much over the last number of years how will I know if he lies again … sorry this is a ramble I just have no one to talk too , if I told my family they d not understand and tell me leave straight away..

I see some of you have said get him to do regular urine tests , does this work ? At least I’d know if he was lying or not ..

Also have you gone to couples therapy or individual therapy etc ?

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