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For some reason I can’t see these today.

So glad to hear you are still doing well! Day 67! Wow! Has flown by!!

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It might be worth contacting citizens advice and see what they say?

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100% agree with every word!

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Couldn’t agree more. Empty threats won’t get you anywhere.

You need your own limits and you need to know what they are fast. That’s so hard!

It’s so damaging and ruins lives. It takes them piece by piece. It’s just so different and I understand your hesitation.

You sound like you know what you need and where you need to be. It’s a matter of getting there. You can! You will!

You birthed babies! Women are gods…. you can do this, do this for you and your self worth.

Keep talking. It will help. It will help remind you how far you have come.

I’m 9 weeks on and was a total mess at the start. Click on my name and read when you can, you will see I had no answers. I was blinded and had it slapped into my face hard! I gave an ultimatum and my husband knew/knows I will never back down and I am a stubborn B….h

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Can you get back to work in these current times?

I completely under you financial worries.

If you are a stay at home mum, I take it all the bills are in his name?

Everything is in my husbands name, apart from the joint mortgage. I was told if this is the case then he would have to pay it all. If he didn’t, it effects him and not me/you.

Are you pretty sure he will choose the drugs? Not give it up for you?

Only way I am sure is the drug tests. He does one every two days. Helps so much. Gives me peace of mind.

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Into week 8

He’s still clean. Doing tests every 2 days.

He is finally him. He is who I’ve married and who I love. I didn’t realise how much he had ‘gone’ – his demise was so gradual I hadn’t realised the signs.

We are still having cross words, but on such a normal level of fighting… putting bins out… over within minutes.

Social services have signed us off. Thank god. To be honest they were pretty naff, but I’m glad it’s done with.

He sat down with his mum and Sister and told them. That’s the only family members he has told, they were shocked but the power his mother has over him in immense so the fact he has told her shows me he is getting clean. She has never felt I was good enough for him and yesterday she said she couldn’t believe I have stood by him over this and wouldn’t have blamed me if I left him. Huge statement! As I’m the one who’s lucky to have him (normally) in her eyes.

I know ultimatums are NOT supposed to be a good idea and don’t usually work. BUT I am so glad I did. I could never have lived along side him being a druggie. I will not in the future either. If he ever relapses we are done…. no doubts for me.

I know so much more now than when I wrote my original post. I know that cocaine is disgusting and dangerous. I know I was naive and living a very sheltered life. I will make sure my sons are educated about the dangers of this drug and what damage it can do. Until 8 weeks ago I ‘thought’ I knew. I knew NOTHING!

I’m relieved, grateful and so so lucky he has chosen us. I am never ever going to take that for granted. I will appreciate that til the end of my days.

I am stronger, confident and know I can stand up to this with my head held high.

If this later on all falls apart so be it. But I am trying to not let negative worries ruin my now. I want to live more in the moment and try to enjoy this life. Make plans and do more fun things. Make the most out of stuff, which I honestly took for granted.

I start counselling of my own next week and this lady will continue with us as a couple when the time is right. I need professional support to work out the anger, the confusion side of it. But it’s 8 weeks in and I didn’t know where the hell I was gonna be 8 weeks ago.

Thank you all!

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Plain Jane – I/my situation was similar but I said you choose, drugs or us.

We had social services involved – thank god they signed us off this week. They wouldn’t have if I hadn’t have said no drugs.

Would you have to explain to them that you allowed it, imagine that conversation.

I think you know you don’t agree and you don’t want him too, but lack the conviction or strength to say it and make it stick. I get it.

But if you don’t this will carry on and it will get worse.

It’s either a druggie or not. I’m in camp not, I can’t stand it. I don’t want any part of that in my life at all. I have three young sons (two are ASD) and I made my husband choose. Cake and eat it… isn’t real life… so hard to be in this situation but he can’t dip in and out of drugs. It won’t ever work.

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You aren’t to blame. He was an alcoholic before you met him… don’t blame yourself.

Must be a kick in the gut that he wouldn’t do it for you and your baby.

Maybe it was more timing, than you?

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That’s so good! I can’t wait to be in that position.

How long has it been ok now for you and your hubby?

I felt so angry and just angry with him. So I felt I should talk it through with someone. Start next week and not sure what to expect.

This is such hard work! All of it

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Thanks Ash. Appreciate that.

I think now he’s more stable, he always knew when I found out that would be ‘it’ – I am so against anything dodgey/wild… whatever the word is. So maybe it was only a matter of time!

How are things with your husband? Hope you are ok!

I have organised a counsellor for me and start 13th July.

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I bet seeing the kids keeps you focus. Nothing more important than them

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Thanks. I’m trying to be. Hard

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Thanks for that, I think we are two weeks off that stage. Which can’t come soon enough, he’s been pushing me a lot!

So glad you are doing well, was starting to wonder if you may have fallen off the wagon.

Onwards and upwards!

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Blimey you look so much better!!! Beautiful children too.

Keep going!!!!!

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I was starting to worry, as hadn’t heard from you!

Good for you not getting worked up by it! Better person than me. I’m getting more stroppy as the days go by I think! Lol. Hubby has done 6 weeks now clean. He’s still taking the drug tests.

Glad you aren’t having any cravings. How long did it take for them to stop?

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