[klouab]

I’ve just sat and read all these posts after my partner lied to me again on Friday night about buying cocaine, even though I saw messages on his What’s app between him and his dealer. He’s currently sleeping on the sofa and I tried to discuss it with him this morning but was told to ‘shut up’. I’m at the point where I think I’m going to have to ask him to leave.

We’ve been together 5 years, he told me not long after we met that he did it recreationally but over the years he’s become reliant on it. He continually lies, has stolen thousands of pounds from me (including when I was seriously ill in hospital after having our daughter) but won’t accept that he’s an addict. He holds down a job, and gets drug tested but because it’s offshore he just stops taking in time for going away. He once almost got caught out and he went sober for a while, but he just thinks he’s cleverer than the system. His brother and his mates all do cocaine, so I just can’t ever see an end to it.

The last straw for me came on Friday when he took our 4 yr old ‘to the shop’ where he met his dealer and then told her not to tell me. I can’t have her around that and risk social services getting involved. I know I need to leave him but I’m miles away from family and rely on him for childcare when he’s at home. Not sure what the point is to my post, but hoping people here will understand as I can’t speak to my friends and family because of the shame. I don’t know that I want to end the relationship, because when it’s good, it’s really good, so if I tell people they won’t ever trust him again either.

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