[kstar25]

Yea it’s hard to make these decisions especially when our body (energy inside) knows what is best but our mind tells us otherwise or makes us question what is best. I have flipped flopped back and forth on wouldn’t it be easier to let him back home…. But for who? Not me I guess… I don’t want to be paranoid, or a detective looking thru his phone, asking him where the money went, etc. anymore. I want to be healthy and that is toxic for both of us…

[kstar25]

I agree you do need to put yourself first, seems like our partners have chosen themselves first for awhile now. I gotta get out of this savior role I’m stuck in and take care of myself. I think the best move I made is separating, during that time he went to more meetings, started back in counseling and worked on himself more than ever, almost takes him to be so afraid to lose everything to make a change. All that “work” has tapered off now, but not my concern.

[kstar25]

Honestly for me separating has been the best decision for me and our 2 girls. I have a peace of mind each day knowing that I am a strong women and I can do this. I hope you have a support system; family, friends too. I am really learning a lot about myself through this and I envision my future with a lot more happy days! I care for him I really do, but it’s time for me to put myself first and set a good example for my kids.

[kstar25]

It’s so hard because it feels like we are abandoning someone, but started counseling and she reminded me that it isn’t my job to take care of him, and that I’m addicted to the chaos myself… I have been separated for some time now and have so much peace knowing where every dollar goes, not having to deal with his lies anymore, not obsessed with moments I can look through his phone ( so embarrassing), etc. He is not a bad guy by any means, but due to his use he has not grown mentally like I have, and it makes my life with him so difficult. It feels like I am talking to a child all the time. He believes his happiness is my job, but I know better. This disease sucks, but I know there are plenty of good days ahead of me! Thank you all for your kind words, wish I would have talked about this in the midst of deep pain, now I just feel immense relieve and sadness for the loss of our relationship all at the same time.

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