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I guess the big problem comes because they need to want help. My dad never wanted help a lot of the time he didn’t even think he had a problem. Although a weekly shop involved 6 boxes of wine, 11 bottles of wine and 5 bottles of brandy.
You can only do so much, ultimatums don’t work because they will agree and then break them. You get angry/hurt they get angry and you end up in the same place over and over. The pain never changes whether you in contact or not. I guess I’m way further down the line than both of you, you guys both still deep down have hope!
Hey after reading your post I decided to sign up to the forum.
Reading your post was almost like reading a story on my own life. My dad became alcohol dependant in my late teens, and my mum decided to divorce him. I was the only person who kept in contact with him as he was estranged from most of his own family and my brother and sister were too young to take him on.
I kept contact for 5 years but he got worse and more depend, nastier and more out of touch with reality (although never moved into drugs). I decided to cut contact because my dad wasn’t there anymore and don’t want help and I couldn’t do it myself. Grieving for someone who physically is still there but not in any form you recognise is so very hard.
My dad died in August as as his oldest child in his main next of kin and it’s been a horrendous experience. I always hoped my dad would come back release he needed help and would get it but now that can never happen and I’m grieving all over again.