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Hey Mazza
god I feel for you I really do I have just made the decision to ask my bf to leave because of his cocaine use and cheating it’s so so hard especially this time of year as I now know he will be on his own Christmas Day but for me it’s the disrespect of it all .they need help we cannot save them .I’ve realised that in a way we are enabling them by providing them with a home food and working etc whilst they have spare cash to shove up their nose and don’t contribute to the household because that is the most important thing to them sadly . No one can tell you what to do but know that it will likely get worse for you if you stay and until he hits rock bottom he will do nothing to help himself it’s kind of tough love I guess .have you given him ultimatums? Offered to get him
help? I have done both hoping he’s going to get the help .I am struggling with the guilt of him being on his own at Christmas but we didn’t cause this , good luck with whatever you decide to do focus on yourself xx
I really appreciate your side of thinking as it’s not something I’ve ever experienced myself so I just don’t understand . Sadly I believe he is still in denial he tells me he has an appointment tomo afternoon to sort himself out but looking back at his past relationships (4 children by 3 different mums 2 of the mums won’t allow contact but I don’t know the reasons why ???
it kind of stinks that this has happened before .and if he couldn’t do it for his marriage or children why would he do it for me when we’ve only been together 4 months .I really want him to get help if I didn’t have a 14 year old at home I’d help him but I can’t risk having him around .
he has been begging me back for the past few days but I just don’t believe it’s actually for me it’s for what I provided nice warm home hot food and now I see I was unknowingly enabling him but not asking for financial contribution or any questionsI think it’s because of the time of year and he has nothing he was having it delivered to my house around the corner he would tell me he was going out for a cigarette and I quickly clocked on to what he was up to he is 43 and he had told me he used to do it am I naive in thinking he can stop? I’ve told him he needs to get help but I’m worried he’s so used to using to block things out that he just won’t be able . The messaging another woman aswell is just so hurtful I honestly have done nothing but give him everything the thing that sounds different here to others stories Is he’s not blamed me once he accepts it’s all his fault wtc however he does keep begging for me to take him back why should I? He really is such a nice guy too he doesn’t sound as addicted as others sound on this thread however he is still choosing to use it over everything else I appreciate your comments aswell thank you
Hi everyone this is something I never thought I would find myself doing !! About 4 months ago I met what I thought was the man of my dreams after taking some 4 years to get over my last relationship we clicked immediately and he regularly began staying over which very quickly moved into basically moving in .
One day he takes his 2 elder children to London as they had a family funeral I was expecting him back mid afternoon . All throughout the day he’s giving me updates and that he won’t be long etc this went on long into the night with I’ll be 15 mins , I’m on way ..he never arrived .I was sick to my stomach I thought he might have had a car crash .later the following day I hear from his mum who says he arrived at her house at 1am off his face I was furious I ended it I am dead against drugs and was furious he just didn’t care .anyway silly me accepted his I’ll never use again promise and we carried on .ever since I have been suspicious .he would regularly go out for a cigarette and sometimes be gone for quite a while I started watching my ring door bell . You can see that on occasion a car is parked around the corner and is flashing his lights he then goes around the corner and goes back to his car . I looked in his car and found empty cocaine bags I was devastated I confontred him and initially he lied but eventually admitted he’d been doing it to block things out of his head .I have given this guy everything he had no stable home of his own I gave him this provided food washed his clothes and ge wasn’t really contributing financially .on top of this I found he had Also messaged another woman . I am just really struggling to understand why ge has done this he had the works at his feet and a chance to move on and he’s doing this ?? I’ve had to kick him out the week before Christmas and I feel terrible any advice grateful I really feel for all of you in similar situations
xx