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You can’t allow him to see the kids, unless supervised. He is the one with addiction not you, and you with a clear head need to make right decision here. God forbid if something happens to the kids you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself.
He needs to change if he wants to see his kids it’s plain and simple. Your kids are innocent here. They don’t deserve to see their dad under the influence of substance abuse. You don’t want your kids to think it’s ok to abuse any substance either.
If I was you (and I am you) with similar story I left he is not allowed to see them until he cleans himself up. And from looks of it he has no intentions of doing it. Coke and his gf is more important their his kids.
He calls every once in a while saying he will kill him self but he won’t. addicts are too selfish to end their life. It’s just their way to guild you into helping them.
You didn’t get married and have kids to be abused and for your kids to be abused and lied to and manipulated.
He is the only one that can stop his addiction and actions HE IS GROWN ADULT. When he cleans up your kids will be there to welcome their dad back.
Good luck!!’
Hunny run and don’t look back. Why are you sorry for him? Does he feel sorry when he got 2 woman knocked up? Did he feel sorry for betraying you multiple times and lying to you day in and day out.
My ex lied to me for years, was telling me he was going to work but was actually spending time with his girlfriend. When it all came out he admitted to coke use. I tried to help for looooong time, but then found out he is still with his gf that at the time got her pregnant. He even bough a house with her. We have 2 small kids and I though to myself. Why should I be with someone that treats me like garbage. I don’t deserve it. My kids don’t deserve it. No one deserves this. I build everything I had from nothing so I can do it again, it’s hard but at least I am not being yelled at and accused of all sorts of things on daily bases. When we were together during his coke/gf escapes he never helped or contributed into anything so what’s the difference now?
And even after he lost his family and kids do you think he cares to call and check up on his kids, NOPE! All they want is their addition that’s all they care about.
Good luck!!!
Hi. Do you have any family support to you turn to?
You say you don’t want to lose him but it’s not ok to be mentally, emotionally and physically abused.
I understand that you love him, and he “probably” does too deep down but at the moment he is not himself and person doesn’t choke and hit and call someone names if they love them. So until he is clean again and sort himself out you need to take a step back and have him choose his alcohol or you. But can’t be both, or you will live like this for many more years to come, and then one day look back and say where have the years go, what did I do to myself. I don’t deserve this. Your mental health will suffer and you will make your self sick and worse.
So you need to think about yourself first and take care you YOU! because he is obviously taking care of himself and not worried how you feel.
Good luck.
Hi. I think you gave yourself the answer of what to do. You said if it wasn’t for your son you don’t know if you would be here. Your son shouldn’t grow up in abusive relationship, and see any of this. You don’t want him to grow up and think it’s ok what dad does, smoke meth, and abuse mom. He needs to hit rock bottom before he wants help and that’s only if he wants help and thinks he has a problem, and even then rock bottom has a basement.
Nothing you say or do will change his mind until he is ready!
My suggestion would be to seek family support if you can. Maybe your parents as parents will always love you and understand and want best for you.
You need to set achievable boundaries with him if you want to work on your relationship. If he keeps denying his addiction you can test him.
Just think why is it ok for him to abuse you and call you names but you can’t even talk to him about a “problem” addiction that he has.
That is NOT OK. You are an amazing person and a mother you don’t need an addict to tell you how to live your life or raise your son.
Good luck!!!
Hi Ftb, came across your post and wondering how are you doing?
I am so proud of you it that even makes sense since I don’t know you lol
I been reading you story over past few months and you truly have come a long way! Great job! Your story should definitely be inspiration to others that want to quit.
Stay safe
So happy to hear that you are doing well! Stay strong you can definitely do it. Join NA groups, take up a hobby to get stuff off your mind, exercise. People definitely believe in you and want you to stay clean. Not going for it on NY Eve was definitely huge step, great job!!!
Hi I noticed that no one has responded. I can’t offer advice but I am just wondering how are you doing? How is your son? I hope you are taking care of yourself!
How are you doing?
Hi, how are you? Did you get any help for yourself? How is he doing?
How is your son? How are you doing?
How are you doing?
How are you doing?
How are you doing?
Hi Dazza, I been following your msgs on here ever since you posted first time, just wondering how are you? I hope all is well and stay safe.