[lc87]

They are definitely amazing liars! My husband was doing it for 8 months (well what I know of) could be longer but I guess il never know. He friend told me yesterday that apparently he has cheated on me… so another blow.

He is being so nasty to me, blames me for everything, saying I’m a bad mum and shit wife. His friend says it’s the drugs talking and not him but I don’t even know now what to think.

I’ve come to the realisation that I have to let him go… for the sake of my sanity and my son. Like the saying- “if you love someone, set them free; if they come back to you, it was meant to be.”

I have to let him go… if he sorts himself out or even wants to take that step I will be there but until then all this is doing is hurting me and my son.

[lc87]

Sorry to hear that Harper!

Do u think u are going to stay and support or walk away?

Suppose that the question on most peoples mind is when is enough enough- because we love them it’s so hard to cut contact completely.

I worry he will overdose or something bad will happen!

[lc87]

Thanks Harper.

I agree it’s heartbreaking ????

I had an awful dream yesterday night and woke up sweating and crying… I dreamt my life had fast forward 5 years and my husband was still addicted to crack but he looked different, skinny, Ill, and had lost teeth. Was crying so hard when I eventually woke I had to control myself as I actually have my 5 year old sleeping in my bed.

He called me again for money the other day… he was trying to make me feel bad and kept saying ‘nobody wants to help me’, made me mad as I’m struggling to put food on the table to feed his son and everyone, his family and mind have given him grands of money over the last year before we knew he had a drug problem!!!! How can he say nobody wants to help him…. His mum offered to get a loan out and pay for him to go rehab but he doesn’t want to go!

I just in utter disbelief how much he has changed… he was the most loving husband, never one for going out with hos friends- would rather be at home with me chilling watching films, we would do so many family day outings, ride our bikes, picnics, he was the best day I could ever ask for our son and now he’s an angry, broken man who just talks about needing money and how bad things are for him! He lies, manipulates and can be a nasty piece of work. The complete opposite of the man I married, the man he was for 9 years of our 10 year relationship!

I cry so much, sooooo many questions… when did it start, why did he do it, does he not love me, do he not care, does he not want to be a family, does he not miss us, how long is this going to go on for… etc etc etc could go on for days!

I wish I had answers….. the biggest question…. Will I ever get my wonderful husband back ☹️

[lc87]

Thanks so much for your reply.

It’s very hard… my emotions are all over the place. I’m so mad but then sad and a part of me hopeful that he will sort himself and come back to us.

I’m abit confused with the contact with my son because a lot of the ex-addicts I talked to said they needed to hit rock bottom before they got help…. By me cutting him off from us would that make him want to go rehab and get help?

I seriously am out of my depth and just don’t have a clue what I’m doing.

I just want him to go rehab and come home to us so we can be a family again.

It’s like he doesn’t even miss us or care, I’m so heartbroken.

Even with everything he’s done, the lying the staying out and not caring, blaming me for everything, gambling, his addiction, I would forgive it all in a heartbeat if got help and wanted to fix things but he doesn’t want to.

Do I have to accept my husband is gone forever, do I look at it like the relationship is over and I have to move on or it’s just a break until he wants help, what if he never wants help.

You said your son was 6 years old, did u stay with your husband and did he ever change and want to get help? And what was the point/ the thing that made he want to change?

Thanks ????

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