[loveB4drugs]

Hello confused23!!

i can’t give you the right advice but i was going thru something similar while being with my BF. he got addicted to meth 2 years ago of our almost 7 year relationship. everything you stated that you went thru, the lying, secrets, sneaking out at night, accusing, arguing constantly and the denial he claimed, is exactly how we were. he made me feel crazy. I remember crying and arguing with him everyday. He’s been charged 4 times with possession of (M) and fled from police which resulted crashing and totaling 2 of our vehicles. Confronting him, and showing the public records of him using he still lied to my face. denied and said cops are trying to get after him. to top it off i was 6 months pregnant at the time when it’s been a year of dealing with him using. the day i decided that i had enough was when he fled from police and crashed our vehicle into a semi which led to being totaled that 2nd time. he called me and repeatedly said he’s sorry and the phone hung up. I didn’t know what was going on, until the ER called me. he was sent to the hospital. for going 60mph in town and hitting the back of the semi, he only had his pelvic bruised. i stayed with him for the night and drove him home and took care of him until he was able to walk again (4 days). later i found out the whole time of being in the hospital and being there for him, he was liking, complimenting other girls pictures and there statuses online. the betrayal i felt, and lie after lie. how could he do that when i’m right there in front of him?? I was there, he called me that night apologizing, cried to me, and that whole time he was still going behind my back. i had enough. i decided to stop talking to him and let him do what he wants. it killed me to do that but i told him multiple times that i won’t be there for him if he chooses to continue that lifestyle. 4 months later of no contact, i got a voicemail from a rehab, it was him. he put himself in there to get clean, he said he hated how bad his life went downhill, and how he lost everything including me and our son. 10 weeks in rehab, then 5 weeks in outpatient treatment and classes, and now he’s in a 9 month program at a treatment center. He comes home in 2 weeks, he hasn’t seen our daughter since she was 3 months old. she turns 1 in oct. its been 2 years since he first used and got addicted.

Moral of my story is that you’ll know when enough is enough, and you have to leave. I left for our kids and my mental health. it drained me, i felt like my life got ruined, and it wasn’t even me that’s causing it. I left, i didn’t reply or contacted him in anyway, and felt like i broke my own heart by ‘giving up’ on us. but if or when you leave, its going to hurt, you’ll blame yourself for leaving or blame the drugs for why this is happening between your guys relationship. stress yourself out wondering if he’s okay. wanting to answer those calls from him or reply to his late night texts.  but he has to want to get sober, nothing will change his mind, no one can convince him but himself. My bf knew he couldn’t get sober without help, even 10 weeks he told me he still craves the high. yes it sucked that he wasn’t there with us, first year of life of our second child he missed, but i knew if he didn’t go in, he wouldn’t be around anyways. It took him till he didn’t have anything left, no one was there for him or didn’t want to be around him, for him to get help. Yes he’s your husband but it’s not you that’s making your life emotionally, financially, physically hard. It’s him. the love you have for him makes you want to stay by his side and help him get sober, that’s how i felt. and i still left. i didn’t want mine and our kids life to go to shit because he chose drugs.

also my mom is heavily into drugs, since birth. learning to accept her choice made me realize it’s okay for me to choose to not be involved with her in my life. she’s fried. and sometimes you have to accept that ‘failure’. sorry for the long reply. makes me emotional just talking about it. what i wen thru with my bf was the worst time in my life. very unexpected and life went from a 10 lifestyle to 2 in one year until i left i was scared to get to the bottom and needed to change things.

do what’s best for you and your kids. sending love and hope he gets the help he needs to get sober. xoxoxooo

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