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I hope those days turn into months and years. I pray she never lets her guard down and continues to occupy her life with positivity. She has the best life ahead of her if she chooses it. Best of luck to you all.
Dear Milly,
I lost my mother at the age of 53 due to alcoholism. She was a beautiful mother, caring, loving even despite her addiction. It’s a vicious Illness. I hope your daughter seeks the correct help and goes down the right path, I know it can be done and have friends who have been sober for over 13 years and turned their lives around from the age of 31. Try not to get angry I know it’s hard. It’s not your fault and it isn’t hers either.
Circumstances have led her to alcohol and in todays society with it being everywhere did she even have a chance? God bless to you, her and her little boy. I pray for her to find a way out.
I can’t speak for anyone else here but I tried CA a couple of times many years ago. It wasn’t for me. I felt the need to have one to one intellectual and emotional expression based on my experiences but could never find anyone to speak to. The group intro followed by the tea break at the end felt rushed and unproductive for my needs. It left me feeling confused. On the other hand an old friend was involved in a CA rehab abroad then came back to continue his journey and has been sober for 13 years or so. I couldn’t handle the commitment of the meetings but see how they can help others. For me the being truthful to myself and finding liberation through my personal efforts has given me a great sense of freedom. You can’t change the past but you can influence what happens next in your life.
I can’t speak for anyone else here but I tried CA a couple of times many years ago. It wasn’t for me. I felt the need to have one to one intellectual and emotional expression based on my experiences but could never find anyone to speak to. The group intro followed by the tea break at the end felt rushed and unproductive for my needs. It left me feeling confused. On the other hand an old friend was involved in a CA rehab abroad then came back to continue his journey and has been sober for 13 years or so. I couldn’t handle the commitment of the meetings but see how they can help others. For me the being truthful to myself and finding liberation through my personal efforts has given me a great sense of freedom. You can’t change the past but you can influence what happens next in your life.
Hello EvieB,
I know it’s easier said than done and I know it’s also possible for willpower to keep addiction at bay for short periods or longer periods, a few months maybe a year. This is the danger. The fact is that you’re seeking some answers some affiliation and confirmation to what you’re going through. This could be an initial step to setting yourself free and seeking an alternative route. You have to try and identify the triggers of how and when you tell yourself it’s acceptable to relapse. You have all the answers inside you. Don’t let the past haunt you or tempt you. When you’re feeling vulnerable take one day at a time, let the days turn to weeks the weeks to months and then further onto years. Don’t harm yourself EvieB believe you can do it! you’re worth more and deserve better than that in this life.
Dear Ffd,
You sound like you know yourself very well and you probably know what you need to do to make your life better. You appreciate everything you have but then contradict this by using. This is essentially your ego saying you will be able to deal with it. I assume sniffing until you can’t sniff any longer, nose blocked, blood, numb gumming, looking at the floor for bits that may be what you think they are after you’ve run out, licking the wrapper, Your high comes crashing down followed by deep remorse the dread of what have I done. You’re smart enough to realize what your doing but can’t for the life of you pack it in. You also must know the outcome, this can’t carry on for ever. You have two choices, keep going and let it take everything you have away from you, your loved ones, your health and sanity or somehow deep inside somewhere just somewhere there is a strength buried inside you that has the capability of putting this terrible addiction to bed. You know there is a better version of you, be her!
This now has to be about your own mental health and state of mind. You know if you carry on it will continue to ruin your life. You’ve given it 8 years that’s nearly a decade. I want to say leave him but obviously the threat of him self harming worries me so I would say you need to seek professional advice for yourself on what to do and take action immediately. The blatant harm that’s been done will be hard to ignore moving forward but it sounds like the quality of the relationship has been compromised and his addiction has taken control of his and your life. Concentrate on your well being liberate yourself and maybe just maybe he will too. Good luck angrybird
Dear Salboo,
Your circumstances resonate. I’m deeply sorry to hear of your anguish.
I lost my mother in her early 50’s as a result of alcolhism. She hid it very well and by the time we knew it was at the point of no return it was too late. You blame Yourself for not seeing it sooner not knowing how to deal with or actually believing the consequences will turn to reality.
Addiction is an illness the most powerful thing you can do is continue to love your mother who brought you into this world and if you can let her know how much you do care but how much her abusing is destroying you. Stay as strong as you can maybe write her a letter explaining your emotions and grief. If you have done all you can your conscience should be clear.
I tried everything I could with my mum and I hope you don’t suffer mate. Best of luck to you and your family.
Is there any way to get her to rehab?
Good evening Captain. That sounds like a good productive day.
Sleep deprivation is a big drain or your mental well being.
Be mindful that a few days of positivity can sometimes allow the mind to drift and think hey that was ok actually. Plotting how to self validate using. The key is to keep your guard up. Be very afraid of the consequences don’t allow conning yourself into ever thinking it will be ok. But be very proud of yourself knowing that you have a plan of action to liberate yourself from something that ultimately will make you very very unhappy.
Occupy yourself with hobbies, maybe art, playing a musical instrument, cooking some random thing you’ve always wanted to do, go for a run.
Make sure you end the day with self satisfaction, a smile a sense of achievement. You sound like a positive person so never let anyone crush that or get in the way of your happiness.
I’m doing very well thank you it’s also been a very productive day too.
It’s great the interview went well. Best of luck with it.
I’m so sorry to hear of your grief. Your boy is ill. I hope from the bottom Of my heart that he takes control and makes the choice himself to survive.
I lost my mum to alcoholism she was in her early 50’s. A close friend of mine was an alcoholic who put his parents through the same troubles your son has put you through. They sent him away to another country for rehab. Miraculously when he came back he stuck with it and I think it’s been 13 years for him with no alcohol.
Another friend couldn’t control his addiction ended up in a hospice and sadly passed. He was a gentle lovely guy.
Alcoholism is such a poisonous disease it’s made even harder that alcohol is on every corner every shop every restaurant. Giving up must be such a difficult and continuous challenge.
Sometimes miracles do happen sometimes they don’t and I’ve seen both. And it does sometimes take one to be at their lowest point to hit rock bottom to find the light and courage to take that first step.
The fact is only your son when he decides can save himself.
You must now compose yourself, be strong. Find enjoyment from this life, you have done everything you can with the card that you have been dealt. I wish you all the best.
This is really positive news. I wish you all the success and positive state of mind in the world. You mention that she probably expected you to be….
My thinking is to try and avoid negative thoughts. Maybe she does or maybe she doesn’t. Definitely try not to rub her nose in your liberation or success if you can see her pissed off.
What is a fact is that she is the mother of your children and a pissed off mum is no good to anyone.
You want them to be happy, that means playing the game so that you can be a better person than the one who is being negative if indeed they are.
If you can look after yourself you can look after your family so conflict avoidance needs to be at the forefront if conflict exists.
Best of luck
I was pushed pills by my GP, gabapentin, tramadol and neproxin.
The GBP made me fee like a zombie the neproxin had no effect but the tramadol did help. But the constipation was so bad it was counterproductive to the back pain.
Anyway docs didn’t even tell me about how addictive tramadol was. I was taking two tablets in the evening and you can feel yourself sledge.
Walking about on tramadol fealt ok. By chance I was in shop getting some keys cut talking to the guy about my back problem and telling him I’m on tramadol. He says oh mate you want to be off those the withdrawal is tough.
I immediately stopped. To be honest I didn’t feel the urge to take them but I had very vivid nightmares for a week. Exorcism being the main theme and it wasn’t pleasant.
I’m glad to say I never touched them again. Now seeing a great Osteopath and working on core exercises and a good diet. Cold turkey worked for me it was just nightmares. I hope it’s an easy release for you. Good luck
Reach out if the urge creeps in. I can assure you what ever happens if you succumb to any temptation the perpetual guilt will torment you. Be mindful that there are literally no benefits what so ever to yourself if you let your guard down. Your life is in your hands and it’s you who has the most power to stop and change anything that’s toxic. You’re not alone, not judged and well done for realising the BS, leave yesterday behind, bring tomorrow on.
You know that regardless of the outcome of the interview if you celebrate by going off it or drowning your sorrows it will only result in one outcome which is remorse, self pity, damage to your health and state of mind. Capture this moment of strong will and take it as a sign that something deep in side you is telling you to stop.
If the interview goes well, it will lead you onto better things and if it’s not meant for you, you have to learn from it and something better that’s right for you will come along as long as you keep trying.
The key is to enjoy yourself for who you are you can still laugh and joke with friends and have a good time without booze or substances.
Look back at the last day, how did you cope? Life was better without it.
It takes a few moments of strong will to say no and you may have to keep doing that for a while but the reward from knowing you can do it and the immense benefits are hard to ignore.
Good luck with your interview. You can do it!
The fact that you want change and your remarkable honesty about yourself means that you are stronger than you think. It is hard and will continue to be so at first which is why you must show absolute determination. If you can feel the health benefits after 1 week that’s good but this is when you need to be at your utmost defense. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, this is your life! Count the days and the weeks. Soon you’ll be counting months and years thinking how could I have put myself through that. Tough lesson but hopefully this will propel you to greater things and overcome any challenge that sets itself before you. Best of luck