[Lizziethepink]

Hi all, I tried to post before but it disappeared so apologies if this is a repeat.  First time poster here and could do with some encouragement.  I have spent four years trying to stop taking codeine, after many years of prescribed use for a genetic condition causing chronic pain and fatigue.  My use crept up and up over the years until I was taking 20 at a time, often repeatedly in one day, and buying OTC solpadeines or nurofens to get through between prescriptions.  The problem is that I have chronic pain, a small child, and a disabled husband, so a lot of responsibilities, and while it’s hard enough to get through the one to two weeks of physical withdrawals with all that, this is small potatoes compared to the depression, lack of motivation and total inability to enjoy anything at all, and because I’ve tried this over and over and over and always fail at around the four week point when I just cannot cope any more and take just a couple to get through (and, I know, thereby starting the whole cycle all over again) I have been feeling this way for almost all of the last four years with only brief respite when I crack and take some codeine, either as a one off or for a few days. I have lost a lot of weight, am a physical wreck and if I’m not doing housework or other family responsibilities then I’m in bed or laying on the sofa watching television as that’s all I have the energy and mental capacity for any more.  I feel like I’ve ruined my life and am ruining my families lives. I’ve taken some hope from people here saying they started to feel mentally brighter after about six weeks as I’ve been terrified I will feel this way forever now. Can someone, anyone, please tell me if I have some chance of one day feeling joy again, or be able to take simple pleasure in spending time with my little girl and husband (at the minute any and all company feels unbearable and has for some time, so I hide away a lot). I know I’ve messed up, though with good intentions, and just want to know that there is hope for me. Please. X

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