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Honestly I sit and wonder what I have done that’s so bad I am being out through this as well.
He just cannot see what he’s doing to himself or his family or me when I was with him.
It kills me everyday to walk away I am receiving council king to try to help me he doesn’t know this.
I find it so hard to not speak to him as I feel I am abandoning him and he is ill. But he abandoned me which was the last straw my sister who I am so close with last month has been diagnosed with cancer in her kidney I was devastated he lied and said he couldn’t come home and that he had stuff to do at work even though he was on leave (he’s in the military) and then went on a bender disappeared for 2.5 days the popped back up like nothing happened that was the last straw for me. He rattles on saying he will always be there for me when he does that all because of coke it’s evil stuff. He goes on social media chatting to women he told my mate that since we split 4 weeks ago he’s had one night stand which I don’t believe as he can’t even perform on the stuff so I doubt that but anyway he still went off with another women.
I am heartbroken but I swear I will not shed another tear over him he sure as hell isn’t shedding any over me. He contacts me ever time the day after a coke night because he’s feeling shut and sorry for himself that’s selfish he won’t leave me alone so I am finding it hard to move on omg it’s a mess so sorry we are all going through it xx
Why do they do this going around in circles it’s awful my ex does this I have broken up with him as I can not accept the deceit and lies and mood swings and never having money to do anything or the energy he’s always in bed recovering from a coke benders he is the love of my life also but the effect it has had on me if beyond it.
I am trying to distance myself from him and his messaging. His paranoid outburst he can swing from 4 different emotions in one letter or text from hating me, to trying to manipulate me and making me feel sorry for him to lying to claiming undying love. I think he is mentally ill.
I think that coke is an escape from his breaking which is only making his mental state worse I fear he will never change never see the light of day with his coke abuse he will die and early death as his benders are extreme. It’s so sad it truly is.
We have to stay strong and look after ourselves and our own mental well being.
I try to stay focused on why I don’t want that life and always think I have to move forward everyday xx I am so sorry we are here in this situation x
Thank you ???? xx
No my partner I have been through all this before starting about 7 years ago with my son luckily it was a phase for him and he has stopped doing cocaine now but my partner is really bad and I can’t take anymore. My sister was diagnosed with cancer of the kidney on Wednesday and he disappeared Wednesday night after and I am in bits as you can imagine worried sick about my sister. He works away in the week so he turned up contacted me Thursday morning then was at home in his digs Thursday and then spoke to him Friday yea time and I haven’t heard from him since while I am sat at home alone in a terrible state and I can’t do it any more he is not coming back and I won’t let him he can stay there. I didn’t want to abandon him I wanted to support him but he’s abandoned me at the worst time ever and quite frankly I need all my energy to stand by my sister to support her through this and I can’t deal with his excuses and drama stories associated to his addiction. I am done x
No my partner I have been through all this before starting about 7 years ago with my son luckily it was a phase for him and he has stopped doing cocaine now but my partner is really bad and I can’t take anymore. My sister was diagnosed with cancer of the kidney on Wednesday and he disappeared Wednesday night after and I am in bits as you can imagine worried sick about my sister. He works away in the week so he turned up contacted me Thursday morning then was at home in his digs Thursday and then spoke to him Friday yea time and I haven’t heard from him since while I am sat at home alone in a terrible state and I can’t do it any more he is not coming back and I won’t let him he can stay there. I didn’t want to abandon him I wanted to support him but he’s abandoned me at the worst time ever and quite frankly I need all my energy to stand by my sister to support her through this and I can’t deal with his excuses and drama stories associated to his addiction. I am done xx
No my partner I have been through all this before starting about 7 years ago with my son luckily it was a phase for him and he has stopped doing cocaine now but my partner is really bad and I can’t take anymore. My sister was diagnosed with cancer of the kidney on Wednesday and he disappeared Wednesday night after and I am in bits as you can imagine worried sick about my sister. He works away in the week so he turned up contacted me Thursday morning then was at home in his digs Thursday and then spoke to him Friday yea time and I haven’t heard from him since while I am sat at home alone in a terrible state and I can’t do it any more he is not coming back and I won’t let him he can stay there. I didn’t want to abandon him I wanted to support him but he’s abandoned me at the worst time ever and quite frankly I need all my energy to stand by my sister to support her through this and I can’t deal with his excuses and drama stories associated to his addiction. I am done xx
No my partner I have been through all this before starting about 7 years ago with my son luckily it was a phase for him and he has stopped doing cocaine now but my partner is really bad and I can’t take anymore. My sister was diagnosed with cancer of the kidney on Wednesday and he disappeared Wednesday night after and I am in bits as you can imagine worried sick about my sister. He works away in the week so he turned up contacted me Thursday morning then was at home in his digs Thursday and then spoke to him Friday yea time and I haven’t heard from him since while I am sat at home alone in a terrible state and I can’t do it any more he is not coming back and I won’t let him he can stay there. I didn’t want to abandon him I wanted to support him but he’s abandoned me at the worst time ever and quite frankly I need all my energy to stand by my sister to support her through this and I can’t deal with his bull@@t excuses and drama stories associated to his addiction. I am done xx
Well my one has disappeared not heard from him since 6.45pm yesterday I am done I can’t do this anymore xx
It is very hard to stay and ultimately it’s us that suffers while we try to be supportive very conflicted at times as it feels as though they are being selfish in their addiction and yet we feel we need to not be selfish and compromise our own happiness in our relationship it’s so tricky and so very sad at times, we need to keep going and try to take the best care of ourselves we can but I feel it is soooo hard xx
Nothing yet I have the evidence so as soon as I have the ending it speech I have proof he can not come back to me with a manipulation or lie I just need to get back home to mine today as he’s driving us he hasn’t used yesterday so we see today he was in a horrible mood yesterday again. I am better than to put up with this crap. Yes I love him but for the life of me I don’t understand why lol xx
I am ok he only did a few bits o think and we left pretty early but today he has got up with me sensible time we went for breakfast and had a walk to the beach we are back now and he’s fast asleep in bed for the past 3 hrs. I will be going home tomorrow and I am done so I think I will be strong enough to end it x wish me luck x
I know my bF messages girls when he’s on it too x
I don’t know what to do I am sat here I visiting him and we at a friends garden they having a few mellow bbq and they are all on gear already I just want to leave but I am 2 hrs away and no car 🙁
That’s what I do just go about my life as normal do all the things I enjoy with out him. Last night I he was using and he was away with work and he was on social media chatting up girls apparently he added a friend of mine that he didn’t know was my friend what a nightmare. So he’s home tomorrow I stunning what I am going to do or say xx he gave her his phone number x
This is really brave I hope that I am there soon enough to be able to leave him x have a great day lovelies 🙂