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Hey. Glad to hear you’re doing good!
No I didn’t get any for him, he chose drugs over me so me getting it for him would be the same as if he cheated and me dropping the girl off to him. That’s how I see it anyway. Also I can’t be part of the problem, it is hard to refuse him though. He knows exactly which buttons to push with me.
I am too scared to ask as I know he will shut me down. Anytime I have ever mentioned our relationship he ends up very irritated at me so I stay away from that topic. I do get the feeling he is using me but whether he is doing it intentionally or whether it’s because he trusts me and doesn’t have the capacity to be there for me in return. But I only ever hear from him (when he isn’t staying with me) when he needs help or wants something. My logical brain is telling me to walk away as I deserve better but I don’t want to leave him when he has very few people he can trust and I would hate it if me walking away pushed him to use more.
I am from Southampton 🙂
Thank you for saying he is lucky to have me, and don’t feel bad that your girlfriend isn’t the same you should be happy that you haven’t put her in the position I am in. I am a huge believer in meant to be and I am so sad because I feel like he is my person but drugs have ruined that and taken the chance away.
I hope one day he will see this but right now I am just scared for him, scared he will die. As when he goes really off the rails he does turn to crack too.
You have no idea how much these messages are helping.
Yes summer…..so hard in this world to find things that don’t revolve around alcohol. Wish I lived in a different time.
Hi Danman83
Feeling somewhat better this week how are you doing?
Unfortunately my ex text me on Friday and said he was going to have a little bit as he can’t just stop altogether. I know this is his addiction talking, he also asked me on Saturday to go and pick a g up for him which I refused but it took about an hour for him to stop inundating me with pleas. He is still at his brothers but hiding it from him.
Even though he has used again I am thankful he is somewhere he will struggle to get it delivered to him, hence why he asked me, so the use is very minor in comparison to his usual. I can only hope he refrains this weekend and he actually gave me some money back, albeit a very small amount in comparison to what he owes I am still pleased he managed to do that instead of lie to me.
I know he managed to get some on Saturday as he text me early hours asking me what I was doing. The motive of this I do not know and it realistically was just going to be asking me again to get him some but I hope it was actually cause he missed me.
I have stopped messaging him this week and will let him come to me although it’s killing me.
Hope you’re doing ok
Yeah I have told him he needs to delete all numbers and he has told his 2 mates that are dealers to not give it to him at all.
He always uses to the point where psychosis kicks in and he paces my house for hours on end thinking someone is outside. It’s horrible
His brother does drink and does coke on the odd occasion but I know his brother will refrain from coke while he is there.
Yes I agree with the money, I swore to myself I wouldn’t give him anymore but he has me wrapped round his finger. Although I did text him today and asked for some of it back as once I pay my rent I have £30 for 3 weeks and he said he will sort it. I can only hope that if he is staying clean then he will not blow all his money like normal.
I don’t know what his specific triggers are but I know as soon as he gets money in his hand he wants it. He uses every other day and it’s never just one it’s always an all nighter. Then takes pain meds to help with the comedown and sleep and I’m talking a lot! This then means he sleeps the following day for about 20 hours and then is back on the coke again.
I will tell him about those videos thank you. He is aware of what I have done for him, he has said so, I think he just chooses to ignore it most of the time so he doesn’t feel any guilt. I guess this is just a waiting game where all I can do is hope and pray he gets himself sorted. In all honesty I love him enough that if it were to mean losing him but he is clean, healthy and happy then so be it. I’d rather him be alive and a stranger than the alternative.
I will let you know how this develops if that’s ok? Thank you so much once again. Having never been an addict myself I have been really struggling to understand the mental struggle he faces.
Thank you. Well you are doing amazingly and I hope you are much happier now. I can only hope he sees the light, he broke down in tears to me the other night as he had realised what he has become.
The difficulty is, my friends and family want me as far away from him as possible but I know it’s not him it’s the addiction.
I still very much believe in him, I am just really scared that I have been used and that I mean nothing. I know you can’t answer any of this as it’s dependent on him.
He owes me a lot of money, constantly asking to borrow it and I gave in every time which I regret massively.
Unfortunately he doesn’t acknowledge me much unless he needs me for something. Now he is not needing to stay with me, I haven’t heard from him.
It’s all so bloody heartbreaking!
He refuses to go to rehab, has tried that in the past but hopefully him living with his brother means he will start CA.
He does believe in God, but he believes that the Devil has him already.
Hi Danman83
Hearing that from a recovered addict really has helped. My ex told me he chose drugs over me and that cocaine is all he cares about. Unfortunately this information came too late and I was already 100% invested into this man.
I have been helping him with somewhere to stay but now he has moved in with his brother to get clean.
I am hoping so much that he does and doesn’t relapse but I am also hoping that he sees sense about our relationship once he has managed his demons. Is that mad?!
Is it possible to love someone whilst addicted to coke?