[lou9976]

Well I’m trying!! Good days and bad days. It’s never easy. He is quite up for the idea of rehab. He did coke in the house last week. I think I’m becoming a bit numb to it all.. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad?!

I hope you are doing ok at the moment? Xx

[lou9976]

Hi, sorry late reply!

We have recently sold our house and going to rent for a year. It’s a fresh start and free’d up the money that was in the house, which I will have control of. I’ve said that if he doesn’t go to rehab and does it in our new house he will have to move out. I can’t have it near my children any more. It really is up to him now & I have to stick to it!

[lou9976]

Hi, I can promise you, it is not you, your fault or because of anything you have done. He is an addict. He is the only one that can save himself. My husband has a cocaine addiction, uses about once a week, and it changes his personality completely, I also have two sons who are not aware. My husband has been in counselling for 2 years, but I am having conversations with him now about joining rehab of some sort. I totally relate to the feeling of exhaustion and hopelessness. I have been trying to distance myself from his habit, as it is his addiction not mine, it’s tough when his choices impact my life so much.

You must put yourself own mental health first. Could you maybe see a counsellor to help you? I did for a few months, I found it very hard to tell anyone about his addiction as I felt so ashamed.

Take care & remember you’re not alone x

[lou9976]

I hope so but I’m learning not to get my hopes up too much, the hurt when these things don’t happen just makes it so hard to pick yourself up and keep going. If my eldest son found out my husband would have to leave, I absolutely dread the thought of my kids knowing! He’s got a decent job and can be so level headed at times, but when the Coke gets him he’s like night and day, so different and distant. How often does your husband do drugs/drink? It is so painful to see someone who you know is such a good person be so effected by drugs, just wish there way a way to fix it x

[lou9976]

Sorry replied to myself below by accident ????????‍♀️

[lou9976]

I totally feel your pain. It’s exhausting when their addiction consumes you. I’m the queen of brave faces, but have got to a point I don’t think it’s healthy or fair for me to keep doing it. That’s why I found this forum, it’s a big step for me as I’ve never told a sole. I do think it can’t just be up to us alone to try and help them though. I actually spoke to my husband this afternoon and asked him to get in a drug support group, which he has said he will do.. we’ll see .. And by the way you can always think of a plan B, although you sound like you have a lot going on with a 3 month old, so be kind to yourself. x

[lou9976]

It’s so hard isn’t it.. I feel for you too.

No one knows about his addiction so I kind of feel that I’m battling it alone. I’m too ashamed to tell any friends. My husband is so caring & a great dad when he’s not using. I think I’m beginning to realise he has to put the work in, I’ll support him but only to a point x

[lou9976]

Thanks for your reply. I just feel so stupid for believing him, I think he’s trying but I just hate the fact he’s doing it in our house more than anything when he said he wouldn’t. I think he needs more help & im going to speak to him & tell him that.

I do realise that things can’t carry on like this forever. I will just end up resenting him so much that I leave. I do know that if we separate I have a plan for me & the kids to move & be comfortable enough. I’ve realised I have to have a plan B

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