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Mitch I am so sorry you are going through this. My husband is an alcoholic, so i know only too well the frustration and anger you must be feeling. i urge you to go along to Al-Anon and get some support there. My husband has had cancer too and he drank alot of the time to cope. He has ended up hospitalized for mental health issues brought on by the drinking. You cannot stop him drinking, but you can learn to cope whether he is or not. I found that carrying on with my own life, plans etc was the best way forward for me, rather than his drinking taking up my every waking moment. At the groups you learn to take the focus off the drinker and put it back on yourself, the only person you can control. I hope you will find a way forward. I’ll be thinking of you.
Hi Maddie, I too am going through much the same thing with my 26 year old son. He left home at 16, he has had umpteen flats furnished by us, a variety of jobs, convictions for theft, a short spell in prison and we are still doing our best to support him. It has all come to nothing. We are financially ruined, physically and mentally exhausted by all the worry and still, he calls almost daily looking for money for some ’emergency’ or other. I pray for the strength to leave him to it, but I find that I end up getting sucked in, time after time. I end up ranting at him like a lunatic because I am so angry, resentful and full of fear about what might happen to him. It’s dreadful and it’s causing a lot of conflict in our household. We are literally going under in every respect and I’d appreciate any support from you all.