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Same I get it all we didn’t work we didn’t get on there was no love any more blah blah yet last year every few weeks I had the I’m sorry ur the best thing ever I love u so much then he’d switch like he’d forgot wat he’d said!! In reality we get on really well and are best mates wen he’s “normal” it’s sad it’s like grieving for a person who isn’t actually dead x
Hi u sound like Iv been where I currently am my ex admitted st Xmas he has a coke problem but then days after saying he wanted help rebuild etc ran away from it dint c me kids for 4 months – since found out he’s living with a older woman who also takes coke and he seems to have no interest in us at all- click on my name u can see my story – he now says it’s laughable I think he had a coke problem and I shud just accept the relationship is over ! Which I do any way but he shows no interest in the kids either!!
I duno wat advice to offer as I feel like I’m in limbo and just a bit lost . There’s nothing we can do I guess but carry on for the kids in hope one day rock bottom hits them hard ! It’s a waiting game I guess or u just cut them out completely . It’s a nightmare. They have no idea of the pain caused . Here if u need to chat anytime xx
Sounds same as mine how it’s all u fault I turned cold on him etc duno way he’d expected wen he’d sleep all day disappeared all night “working” whilst I raised the boys with no money! Now it’s all we fell out of love we dint work iv moved on just accept it I’m not a drug addict it’s laughable etc – duno wat his excuses are with not being a father has he fell out of love with them too does his relationship with them boy work ?!! It’s just unbelievable xx
It’s awful mines chosen to ignore it and has moved on I think with one of the women he cheated with who takes it too shows no interest in the kids anymore I just can’t believe wat he’s done x
How long was he using for? Did he tell u himself? Iv read that many stories uv lost track who said wat it so sad how many ppl are affected!
Mine I know nothing about he said he tried it first time wen I was pregnant 3 yrs ago but I only found out all this this jan he said it was occasionally but has issues none of it made sense and nothing he said was consistent! Now he’s denying it and has just disappeared angry at me for accusing?!!! I’m so angry x
It’s like grieving it’s just awful I completely relate xx
Hi I completely relate to U Laura I have 3 children with my now ex and he changed so much wen I fell pregnant with my third his mood swings ga disappearing lies cheating paranoia – he would cry sob tell me he was depressed I had no idea it was coke as I’d never been around it u TIL Xmas he told me !! He then disappeared for four months wen I tried to contact him he’d tell me I was dramatic deluded it was laughable was I was accusing him off he was healthy and to just accept we didn’t work out!! I’m now left with 3 kids and he shows no interest anymore in any of us he barley knows my 2 yr old – I think he’s living with someone older than him that takes coke too so iv heard but he denies it ! We had an arrangement more recently for him to ring kids once a week at a set time he met failing to. Do. It breaks my heart but he does not care and I can’t get it through to him. He was the best dad wen my 7 yr old was born their bond so strong now it’s like my kids don’t exist unless he remembers very rarely . I’m out of hope but so angry he denies it all makes me look crazy – and I’d probably think it too he’s that convincing- but proof to me is lack of interest in the boys it just isn’t who he is !! But wat can I do I don’t even know where he lives anymore !! Iv bought a box of testing strips so wen he does make contact if he does I will make him test before seeing the kids so that will prove it hopefully then I will try. To help him if he allows it at the minute I just can’t reach him and it’s so fustrating x
I’m similar to u – I left him before I knew about coke just thought he was a horrible bastard! Then he admitted at Xmas he has coke issues. Then I dint see him for 4 months now he says it’s laughable I think he has a drug problem!!!denies it till he’s blue in. The face ! I’m so angry ! We have 3 kids he showing no interest in anymore he’s not the man I once knew- he says we can go court etc but wen I say ok let’s do he shits himself and disparages it’s all said to keep control!! Trust ur gut find the strength to leave him until he gets sorted he won’t tKe u to court and if he does demand drug tests and show any proof u have he will soon bk down xx
U sound like my ex boyfriend and how he started – we have two children And I had a son from a previous relationship which he took on has his own – he started slowly and I had. I idea I thought he was depressed drinking he would switch on me out of no where days after saying he loved me and begging for chances – our youngest is 2 Half and it’s gone on since I was pregnant he barely knows his dad – I ended up kicking him out but we kept rebuilding failing coz he wud switch and disappear every week – I couldn’t cope with it it made me so ill on top of having 3 children yet he dint get y I turned cold on him -will he ever ? He now still blames me as much as himself coz I reacted so badly to his ways but I had no clue wat he was doing until jan this year wen he told me- he said he wanted to rebuild get help and be the best dad – by the end of the week he’d gone bk to not answering the phone and I lost it I rang that phone about 50 times till he answered and he went mad saying I was psycho needed help and I’m being dramatic and to not ring him again- after that we didn’t see him till may my sons birthday- and he now denies it fully he said it’s laughable I think he has a drug problem?!! I’m so so angry at him I can’t get past it I wana shake him I just duno wat to do I duno where he lives or who with he lives a secret life and wants to just contact kids wen suits him then disparea again with no answers – my middle son his oldest is 7 and is very upset and confused by it all – he was meant to be probing himself by rebuilding trust and ringing him at 3pm every Tuesday my son sat last Tuesday and was let down for 3rd time out of 6 calls sat waiting for dad to ring him ! He had no reason wat so ever not to ! Iv now blocked all contact but I’m so angry I feel like I need answers I can’t get closure wat so ever like this I’m left to pick up the pieces and now questioninumy sanity – have I imagined it all? Am I being dramatic? Xx
Wow ur boyfriend sounds like mine! Crying one minute how much he loves me kids then disappearing the next it’s too much isn’t it and I don’t think they even realise the pain caused ?!! Sad thing is I have 3 boys who have lost a dad to it and he shows little interest unless suits him and has no remorse wat so ever it’s crazy xx
I know wat u mean it gets lonely on ur own it’s hard especially missing someone but it won’t be that way forever ! U need something to occupy ur mind maybe go jogging in the eve a good box set something to distract u and make sure ur up early to tire u out – y does ur wife want to go to mediation if u already are seeing the kids? Xx
I think ur ex probably took her a lot to letting u go and accepting ud changed she probably thought u wud never get sorted and resigned to that and let go – now her guard will be up and it will take a lot to let u any where near her again – but keep proving her that u are changed – he the best dad trust me that’s the most attractive thing to a woman – u will have history and she loved u and that’s not easy forgotten best way forward is to try be her friend and show her ur sorry by keeping clean and making effort – I know if my ex did that I’d want to be around him but he won’t even try he’s moved on with someone who’s taking coke so he can continue to bury his head and that’s heartbreaking for me and the kids but wat can I do xx
Same it’s so hard it’s like the old them died now this new horrible person has been born and it’s a grieving process but u have no answers as to y it’s a circle of emotions constantly – iv just got to live in hope that one day he will realise and be sorry until then I’m trying to crack on but I’m so so angry that I’m left to pick up the pieces and left with 3 children on my own that he shows very little interest in and I just wana shake him and smack him in the face to wake him up get through to him and all he’s saying is it’s laughable u think I have a drug problem no other answers !! There’s so many little things that I think cocaine is the answer for him doing that or this and it makes sense so clearly but same time I’m questioning ia it just me am I just imagining it I duno !
I remember in around November maybe my son had FaceTimed him one Saturday eve and he was at Mcds drive through- the kids got fed up talking and disappeared but he didn’t end the ft kept taking to me in bits or kids to and from and he got out of the car went in his boot for few minutes then came bk to the seat and was sniffly put a tissue up his nose – I didn’t know about the coke then and said wat the help was that he was like I was just getting something out the boot I said did u just sniff sumat and he was so defensive but laughing and like don’t be so stupid I’m simply blowing my nose ?!! And then I thought the coke would make sense to his behaviour but chose to believe him ! Now I’m thinking he defo did do that thinking I was clueless ?! Xx
I’m so angry fact he’s sat there and said to my face look the reason iv been the way I have iv had some issues with cocaine – now flat out denies he has a problem like he’s for got he told me?!!!