[louise1505]

I feel stuck in limbo I can’t get past the anger and pure cheek of him – he’s told me in jan had coke issues then disappeared for months now he’s saying it’s laughable I’m accusing him of having a drug problem ?!! I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall

[louise1505]

Iv no idea about coke and how much is a lot etc or wat my ex used – but it’s unbelievable how they can blind side u that’s wat I’m struggling with I duno if to believe my guy and the ppl have told me and wat he’s shown all the signs and the fact he’s told me he had issues – or now to believe him who’s telling me he’s no issues and it’s all laughable?!!! He’s so believable it’s just shocking I wana scream shout at him but he will just laugh at me and make me look like the crazy one x

[louise1505]

Hi iv has an email off my ex saying he doesn’t understand y he has a drug problem he will happy fo tests if needs be but wat are the tests for .. now 4th jan he told me he had issues with coke – now I’m sat questioning myself again – can he be so straight faced to lie to me to manipulate the situation- I duno wat to believe and wat not to! Makes me so angry

[louise1505]

Thank you This forum has really helped thanku all xd

[louise1505]

Yes I am hence y iv changed my number etc this time so I can really cut ties xx

[louise1505]

My ex is living with a woman who has a coke habit she’s a lot older than him so iv heard so it’s like because he’s got her he’s forgot us the kids I wish he dint have her so it would wake him up but whilst he has he’s trapped in that cycle that life and I can’t do a thing about it x

[louise1505]

It’s sad really is and it’s harder in a way than grieving for someone who’s died because the frustration of them being there is massive but u can’t get to them – he obviously needs to get to a low low point to hopefully make something click and hopefully it will but u TIL then ur better off with out him it may well be the wake up he needs if u show him ur serious xx

[louise1505]

Problem is u can’t help someone that won’t help them selves I tried everything with him I mean everything! He just thinks he’s doing nothing wrong until he has a melt down then the next day that’s forgotten his apologies gone and iv imagined the whole thing – I think u will get to the point of getting past caring in a way – I do care for him but I care more for my kids and my mind set and wen he’s ready and if he asks for my help ill help him but I think he needs to hit rock bottom first which could be years away my cousins been going through it 8 years now ! It’s sad he misses so much with kids but wen I say it’s time u won’t get bk it doesn’t seem to effect him at all x

[louise1505]

Same!! I would read new stories about ppl arrested or hurt and think I wish was u to wake u up ! And wen he did turn up feel fed up same shit again! It’s crazy yet they think wen we say u cud be dead or arrested we are silly and they are invincible !!

[louise1505]

For now iv just cut ties changed my number he shows little interest in seeing kids and I can’t force him- iv just ordered testing strips wen he does if he does reach out or want to see kids they he won’t have a problem testing if he’s doing nothing wrong if he does he won’t be seeing them and I’m more than happy for him to take me to court ( which he won’t) he has no go in him wat so ever only interested in the job he does and the friends he’s around at the minute and it all relates to coke weed and drink!!xx

[louise1505]

I think there is a handbook somewhere or a secret cult !! They all sound the same it’s so nice in the best possibly way to actually Hear same stories and know I wasn’t just loosing the plot !!

[louise1505]

No once u take control bk it will be like a weights lifted once he realises he has no control there’s nothing he can do to u u have to be strong break away – it will take him to hit rock bottom before he changes unfortunately- I thought we got there in October wen he head butted me and police social services were involved and he rang me crying begging me to take control of his life take his phone etc – I dint know about the coke at this time!! By the Friday he’d disappeared again and that’s wen it hit me he’s no where near ready to change who he is – I thought then it was drink weed depression I think maybe if I knew about coke I’d possibly tried more to get a grip off him I duno if it wuda worked though – my cousin has had a mirror experience to me it’s crazy – it wasn’t till he ex got arrested ended up in hospital he finally seemed help admitted to his family and he was good for a month then one weekend dispearred until the Monday then turned up like nothing had happened off his face still and police were called by him saying she wouldn’t let him in the house etc lol – it’s the cheek of them the bare faced lies that get me!! Xx

[louise1505]

I locked mine Out a few years ago after he smashed the bedroom up in some rage over nothing in front of the boys – he went to work and never got bk in ! We have tried to repair since but he lived at his mums but same lies and broken promises disappearing etc – his mum and dad don’t care he’s in bed all day so they enable it all they don’t care about my kids one bit I begged them for help and was told it’s my fault for getting pregnant and ruining his life !

I duno where he lives now think it’s with a woman much older iv been told who has a coke habit she’s got money etc so he be leaching off her! Shows wat she’s like coz any decent woman would wana see his kids meet his family etc he’s basically disappeared with her ! Living more lies no doubt!! Xx

[louise1505]

The bitch thing aswel- same with me he says I turned cold once u had my son – duno how he can’t see y?!!

[louise1505]

I’d refere to him for months as j & h !

He sounds same couldn’t wake up did not wana do anything he work nights wen this all started I think get up eat work come home for 6am play Xbox till 10am sleep all day- repeat – I was so lonely angry he couldn’t get y it be in just working – yet never had much to show for working 10 hour a night 7 days a week! ????????‍♀️

But it was all in my head apparently paranoid I dint work at the time so I shud shut up put up and be the mum or go to work pay half run the house and bring 3 kids up – whilst he basically did wat he want!! And wen I moaned it was me nagging it was too much for him I used to say if I had it in me I’d pack a bag let u cope with house kids for a week and see how u felt obviously I cud never do that to the kids but I’d love him a week in my shoes!

He’s turned into the most selfish person I know! Even wen I was pregnant 33weeks I had water infection and had to go in hospital as thought it was my waters gone – he was “working” phone off no answer till 10am even wen we did get hold of him he dint turn up til 3 pm next day and I couldn’t go to hopspitsl till then as no one about to have kids and he had no answers other than I was working for me -it makes sense now he was in a bender!

He’s told me times in the past he’d go to a hotel like b & b and take his xbox laptop get coke weed drink and turn phone off and get wasted!!

It makes me so so angry get now acts like iv made that story up to the point I question myself !! Xx

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