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Thanks for your reply it honestly helps me when people get back to me – can I ask why you think he might get sent down ? For what
reason? I live in a close community also and worry about what people think too but I guess thats something you can’t do anything about -people will always think what they think and to be honest most people don’t understand I didn’t before I was in this situation as I’m sure you didn’t too, and probably judged too – I’ve stopped drinking now and feel better for it, it was just a crutch, but not a good one I know. Thank you for replying I really do appreciate it as like you I don’t have anyone to talk to apart from my dad who’s 81 and I don’t think he would understand x Lou x
Danman I’m struggling here, can you send me some words of wisdom please- Lou
How are you doing jo? It’s a lonely life being with an addict – I know x
I’ve been in the same spot as you, and it’s hard, there’s no doubt in that. But you do need to talk to people if it’s only on a forum, it’s helped me on here tbh, but nothing helps more than talking to a friend you can trust. I’ve bought up my son on my own- he’s 9 now, and that was easier than doing it with an addict, someone said to me once- there’s 3 people in your relationship me, my partner and drugs/alcohol- if it was another woman would you put with it? Probably not, believe in yourself and put yourself first chic, you’re worth more than you think – Lou x
Dont know why the ??? are there, tried to put an emoji and ??? came up instead- Lou
Thanks for your reply danman, it means a lot. I’m pleased to hear you’re back at the gym, I find that helps me too, I think if you’re physically fitter the mind will follow, you will get there what happened is just a glitch. I wish my ex
Bf was as determined as you, I don’t think he’ll do it he’s been on coke for years on and off – more on than off! It’s cost him so much, financially and relationships but he doesn’t want to stop- he carnt do or surely he would at least try, he’s had councilling with rehab and everything ( I think his ex wife made him) btw coke is why she left him, but he still won’t delete contacts etc plus he lives with a dealer, so it’s on tap, I do love him so much it breaks my heart to let him go but I have to or I will go down with him I’m already drinking more than I should which is a bad sign – I need to get back at the gym and knock drink on the head, just don’t know how to go about it, any advice would be appreciated? Sorry didn’t mean to go on it’s just I don’t have anyone to talk to really- Lou ????
Try FRANK, they are pretty good plus AA, but it’s a bit religious so may not be for you- I ring Frank quite a lot as my partner is an addict too and they are good listeners plus they search your locality and let you know what services are in your area that might help all the best Lou x
Hi danman – you talk a lot of sense, your very open about your issues and that’s commendable I think you’ll master this – you’re stronger than you think just trust your instincts try and stay on the straight and narrow but if you deviate don’t beat yourself up it’s par for the course. I split up with my ex because he was a cocaine addict and I couldn’t cope with it but he was never as open as you seem – never admitted he had a problem, even when he was thousands of pounds in debt lost jobs because of it lost his ex wife because of it and his kids but no it was never a problem I had to go for my own sanity but you seem different you’re more tuned in to your own problem that’s why I think you’ll do this good luck danman, lou
Danman your posts have helped me a lot. I hope you’re having a word with yourself and get back on here soon as I know you’re helping other people. Think of the wider picture- it’s a glitch, that’s all- your not back to square one you’ve done really well remember that!
Sorry that should have said he’s landed himself in a lot of debt – predictive texting!
I’m in your position chic my partners habit (coke) has landed I am in a lot of debt also with the HMRC credit cards personal loans and basically just debt everywhere, he’s probably going to have the bailiffs round soon, not that there’s much in his house to take now. He doesn’t go out, just takes it in the house with his housemate which I find very bizarre. He’s lost a marriage and jobs because of it also and the lies are continuous. You’re right it’s the cheating, deception and lies that do your head in.
I agree with the previous post, one last chance won’t make a scrap of difference he’s obviously not ready to give it up, more drastic action is required however you have to live with that and if one last chance gives you more peace do it, but don’t hold your breath chic, good luck Lou x
When you say she’s dual diagnosis I presume your daughter has a mental health problem as well as an addiction- I would speak with her key worker or nurse and ask them for a visit. Also remove her stash, bin it! Ketamine should be class A, it’s a horrible drug not meant for human consumption especially when someone is taking other medications which I imagine your daughter is. She could easily overdose. Be strong and all the best it sounds like you have had a very rough few weeks and need some respite, is it possible she could be admitted to hospital fur a while so you could get some respite or is that not something you would want? Lou
Hi there, thanks for that.
My partner is also kind, funny and great company, he’s my soul mate that is what makes this sooo difficult because if he was an arsehole this would be easy! However by doing nothing I’m enabling his addiction and I carnt be responsible for that, my son is also too young to fully understand but he’ll get there soon and I don’t think I can handle that, he’s 8. It’s a horrible and selfish disease, if it is that? And it takes no prisoners x Lou x ps I do appreciate the support it does help.
Thanks popples- it’s hard because I’ve invested the last year into this guy, not really knowing the whole situation as I’ve only found out about the addition since Christmas, and I do love him but I cannot see a way out of his mess and he’s not really trying- he gives it lip service but that’s it. So it’s back to the drawing board again and hopefully the next guy will be better for me and my son and not bleed me dry financially and emotionally like this one! All the best Lou x
Thanks all I will check out the links sent this evening.
It’s hard isn’t it, I feel like it’s time to move on now I think I deserve better, it’s not going to change anytime soon- my BF using, he’s getting more and more in debt and I don’t believe a word that comes out his mouth. Too many lies – smoke and mirrors that’s all it is, it’s like he’s cheating on me, that’s how it feels anyway- see them hills in the distance we’ll thats where I’m running! Lou
Hi Danman. If you like Stephen king try the The passage by Justin Cronin, it’s a trilogy and pretty long but it’s brilliant once you get into it. Well done your doing great ????. Lou