Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
By the way I admire you coming on here and asking for help that’s a big step x
Hi there, to the original post I posted on here yesterday and had some fantastic replies especially from Georgia.
Myself and Georgia both have partners addicted to cocaine and we don’t really understand what somebody gets out of doing lines of cocaine Sitting in the house or anywhere for that matter for our benefit could you explain what it is you get out of it and what your triggers are please?
It might help us understand if you don’t mind and you can tell me to do one if you want! Lou
Has he sort any help? Would he really be on his own or is there a way of you disengaging while someone else was still in his life?
The sad fact is that if you go down, so to speak you’ll be no good to him anyway!
It’s tough love and it works but you have to be able to cope with it as well as it’s not just tough love for the addict it’s the way for all those around him too.
My friend was in your position and she ended up taking her son away for 2 weeks in a caravan where he had no access to any drugs, just the occasional drink to help his through the withdrawals it doesn’t work for anyone and isn’t possible for a lot but sometimes extreme behaviours get extreme results?
Thanks all – that’s my evenings reading sorted lol. I’ve started going to the gym so off there now-
I needed some respite from it all and it helps being around ‘normality’, and I think doing something for yourself helps, does anyone feel the same? Lou x
Thank you sincerely, why do you think they make such good liars? Probably practice makes perfect I reckon and probably because they have to over think everything and everyone to stay one step ahead it becomes second nature. I haven’t heard from him for near on 2 days now which is how I know he’s off on one, The post on here saying it was a sneaky addiction it’s true he holds down a professional job and to the outside world there are no problems he is Mr sociable and everyone likes him but I’ve seen a different side recently the mood swings and manipulation and lies the constant smoking mirrors it’s hard work and I think if I’d known where this bus was going I would never of got on as my ex was similar but in a different way. I told him that’s why we finished and he says that why he hid stuff from me but I see now lies and deceit is a way of life for him now.
It’s a shame because we are v compatible in all other ways but this overshadows everything now. You’re right in everything you say thanks Lou x
Sorry I meant he’ll try and talk me round
Thanks Georgia I appreciate your honesty it is hard to read because you do you keep believing that it is possible for them to change but deep down I know you’re right he’s already lied about so much stuff even for my first date or to cover his addiction turns out his wife left him because of his addiction he’s lost so much because of it already I can’t believe anyone wouldn’t want to stop it get a new life but I guess the drug takes a hold of you -most people can’t imagine I guess.
Any suggestions on what I say to him to end it because I know you’re trying talk me round and promise me everything is there anything I can say that will leave him with one last thought he needs to sort his life out not for me as I’m practically gone, I’ve been thinking about this for months now, not for anybody else but himself and his kids?
is your partner still behaving like you say? How do you cope hun? Lou xx
Hi there everyone I can totally relate to everything everybody has said I have been with a guy for about a year and although I had my suspicions it has recently been confirmed that he has a chronic cocaine problem he never has any money if we go out which is where I have to pay for everything I’ve bought him clothes food, Petrol, paid bills – we don’t live together- mainly because he told me he had previous debts from when his wife left him for another man all this turns out to be rubbish the debts which are many more to dealers mainly and unpaid bills he has a company car company phone he rents two rooms out in his house to which he does not declare and yet still has no money and I jokingly said after we’ve been together a few weeks I think you have a secret cocaine addiction to which he laughed off and said he couldn’t afford that he also smokes cannabis but this doesn’t seem to be such a problem I do love him and when he’s good it’s great, but we live a distance apart and once he goes back home I’ve no idea what he’s up to and sometimes he disappears for days. I want it to work but have no unbreakable bonds with him he says he wants to quit and change and sort his life out but there have been so many lies, all very plausible I have to say, I don’t know what to believe anymore I don’t know whether to try the Toughlove approach one last time before running for the hills? any suggestions please would be appreciated Lou ????