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Addicts are very good at using our insecurities against us and using it to there advantage.
We are not the problem they are, I’m afraid when you are with an addict you take on all there issues, you become there saviour because you think you can bring them back from the darkness but with this you lose yourself.
You do things that you would never have done before you lie for them you protect them it doesnt matter what they do we forgive them.
It’s a form of grooming it’s taken me months to get my head around this, it’s very hard to expect this but when you do things will get easier.
Listen you are not ugly addicts have a way of making us feel like that because they are on a path of destruction and what happens we go along for the ride, I’ve been living that life for 5 years 4 children, Rehab twice and still years on nothing has changed. Finally I see it for what it is, I have seen the light and I know now he is not the person I believed he was.i love him unconditionally and what for! Hes used me, all I feel now is hatred towards him especially when I look at my new born baby. Hes missed so much of there lives, i never had closure. But I will! I’m going to hit him where it hurts,
Unless they want to help themselves
nothing we change, as for the situation he got you is awful, you have to look at it this way you have had a lucky escape and you have no children together. It’s very difficult because those scares will always be with you. It will get easier it’s time and time is a healer. Dont ever put yourself down you need to find yourself again and talk. I speak to a therapist each week its helped so much especially because she was a drugs councillor she has put so much in perspective for me.im so grateful to her. Slowly I feel better, but I’m still so hurt the pain will go, 4 months ago I was a mess now I can look in the mirror and not see the person I disliked so much. Just time!
Thankyou so much yeah hes a little darling so good at night luckily. As I’m going back to work next week so I will need my sleep lol.
One other thing be knid to yourself. Xx
Hi,
You are not crazy sweet, its difficult because when you are in that sort of relationship its hard to see the bigger picture.
The people that love you can see it and try and tell you, but it’s not as easy as that, when you have been subjected to this sort of manipulation, it does not happen right away, it’s over a period of time, you dont see it coming your self. Addicts are very good at manipulating to get what they want. It’s all about them he may of told you he loved you, it’s hard to know if it was real or whether it was lies. I know exactly where you are coming from with what you say
It has taken me months to realise I was not the problem he was, but he made me feel it was all my fault. Its cost me hundreds of pounds with a therapist to actually find myself again, this man destroyed me inside and out. I would look in the mirror and I didnt like what I saw.
He left me pregnant turned his back on his children months ago. Since then I have had a baby boy 2 weeks ago, I look at him and the other children I have the best of him. Hes blocked me on everywhere so he doesnt even know hes a father again. But he deserve not to know, he had 5 years from me, he cheated he stole hes out thousands out of me and never contributed to the children. I work full time and support the children. He would rather buy alcohol and smack, I completely get what you mean when you say you feel used. This man took everything from me my self respect my identity. Hes moved on with another alcholic. Good luck I say. But karma is waiting for him belive me, dont blame yourself he is the one with the problems and needs help. You need to think of you now its baby steps one day at time x