[lucyyyy]

Hiya,

From my experience his mood swings and aggression will be a mixture of him and the coke but it’s certainly not going to get any better, you can spend your life trying to justify and explain away their behaviour but is that honestly the life you would like for yourself? Because this is the absolute best it will be, it is very unlikely to improve and will more than likely get worse. I’ve left the situation I was in and I am now so much better off, my little girl is thriving and we are both happy.

I will admit that I had started using again with him, I enjoyed it while I was on it but would regret it the day after, I realise now that it wasn’t really the coke I liked but that I thought he was trying to make a connection again I’ve later learned that addicts don’t like to use alone and will try to convince those around them to use to, in my experience that’s been so they can later justify the behaviour.

In terms of your use, if you’re having doubts I would say listen to your gut 100% before I had my daughter I was exa tly like you and didn’t feel I was bad at all, looking back now it was getting worse and worse and would of sent me down a not nice road. You’ve already said that your use has increased since you’ve been with him, I think you know in your gut how you truly feel but it can be hard to listen to sometimes.

If you need somebody to talk to I am more than happy to be here for you

Stay strong and listen to your gut x

[lucyyyy]

Thank you, im listening to it now, I think I’m just conflicted because he will tell everybody else how much having a family has changed his life and how much he’s wanted this but he’s not acting like it at all and I feel like he’s just telling me what I want to hear. I feel like if I were to leave I would be abandoning him and because I don’t have family around me and I feel like I’d be completely on my own it’s just scary.

He will drink and take drugs every weekend without fail and smokes a lot of weed every day like the first thing he does when he wakes up is have a joint and he goes to work with weed. He’s told me today all he wanted was a happy home for our daughter but that can’t happen, obviously that’s all I want to but I feel like he isn’t an active part of the family.

When social services get involved what does the process look like? Would he get in trouble with the police or anything?

[lucyyyy]

Hiya,

He’s been using on and off but mostly on since he was maybe 18 and he’s 32 now, we’ve been together for almost 2 years and I’ve seen it become more frequent in that time, I guess I was hoping once baby arrived he’d want to change but if anything it’s gone the other way

[lucyyyy]

I feel super guilty reading all these messages because compared to what everyone else is going through he doesn’t sound too bad, he says he only gets one bag at the weekend and maybe one during the week but he’s losing so much weight it’s crazy, I don’t want to not believe him but he used to never have it in the week and all of a sudden it’s a normal thing, he has a lot of debt and he’s spending a minimum of 30 quid a week on a bag plus more for beer and more on top for weed, o didn’t realize quite how bad his debts were when we first got together and I feel a bit trapped like I don’t want to leave him in such a hard time but he’ll leave bags of coke in his sock draw which our daughter can get to and will leave weed and his rolling stuff on the couch which obviously my baby can reach too, he doesn’t see the problem with any of what he’s doing and I feel like I want to help him but he sees it as me being hateful when it’s the opposite

[lucyyyy]

Hiya, I’ve recently looked to his mum and our neighbors for help because I don’t know anyone else around here and hit the roof when he saw my messages, his mum came and got me and my daughter but we came back to talk things over and he hasn’t had the conversation with us yet. He doesn’t see an issue with what he’s doing and that sometimes makes me question whether I’m being too dramatic. My parents live abroad but they want me to come out there to them

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