[luhorna]

My situation is different from yours , my boyfriend has issues with cocaine and has since I met him ..

I met him when I was vulnerable I had just come out of an 8 yr marriage with 3 kids .. I fell madly in love and I was naive about drugs really .. anyway the relationship has been a massive rollercoaster but when we had highs things were amazing.

I Love him to bits and so do my kids but when we had lows it was hell All the lies and the mood swings, but the lows were only ever when he’d been using ..So I soon realised what the problem was, he totally changes.

I ended things back in February but then took him back under the conditions he would accept regular drug tests and sort himself out.

We got back together and I did regular drug tests if needed with condition that if he took it again then he’ll be out which has just recently happened.

I’ve told him he has to move out get his own place, we can still be in a relationship he needs to make some big choice changes. At first he absolutely hated this and tried every attempt to manipulate even saying that he doesn’t care and was happy to end things… i remained strong and at one point was happy to walk away because I told myself I can’t go back to that life I’d rather be alone …

Basically I need to see if he wants us or drugs if he carries on using then then I’ve told him it won’t work Between us.

He’s accepted what I’ve said and we Are just gonna see how things go I still don’t know what I’m doing is the right thing but the main thing is the kids come first and that behaviour is not going to be around my children any more at least now if he messes up I can walk away without the children getting hurt.

So if I was you I would tell him to get his own place get himself sorted but you can’t have that behaviour around you. And the kids. It may give him the shock that he needs and sometimes that’s what Addicts need to realise their addiction, if he chooses not to, then you know that your life is never ever going to change.

Not sure on your situation regarding the house etc so maybe you need to contact a Local support group For advice incase he gets nasty xxx

[luhorna]

That’s so awful .. I just hope he’s not that far gone for this to make a difference but to be honest he’s been for his stuff today and for all he’s not on drugs and back to his normal self unless he wants to change things will just keep going back .. and he will lose his daughter next .. I’m saying this in a strong way and I’m aware of how it’s going but I don’t want to lose him too ..probably similar to yourself ???? xx

[luhorna]

Thankyou so much for your honesty, I am going to try and focus on me and the kids and try and build it up the friendships that have been neglected along the way .. I will stand my ground and support him and be there for him but that’s only if he is wanting to do it for himself.. with the appropriate help. And I will only do it at a safe distance for me and the children so I can keep them protected, I believe everyone deserves a chance to make things better but if he chooses not to well, I will keep reminding myself I tried everything and move on with my life, it’s so sad what these drugs do to decent people and families, people are so right when they say they are toxic xx

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