hi , I saw your post there , I can’t even begin to imagine how heartbreaking this must be for you & your family, but especially you.. your clearly at breaking point and your not sure if things can ever go back to the way they were .. can you talk to your local drugs rehabilitation clinic ? Or substance misuse services at all ? I know it’s not you with the addiction but they helped my wife when I was at my lowest points .. even if it’s just a shoulder to ease some of the load off ? I wasn’t addicted to cocaine but had a serious medication addiction , over 10 years and also used cocaine and speed over the years. How is he funding his habit now ? In no expert but if you need to chat I’m here. I’m a female and almost lost my wife to it , including my own life.. you have to make your decision to leave etc , for the sake of your children , and of course yourself. This isn’t your fault , you sound like you’ve been an amazing support and strength to your husband .. but you have to think about no 1 you & the kids no matter what. There’s only so much you can do , or put up with , we all have a breaking point. Thinking of you , lyndsy x