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Hi Fayzey,

was he diagnosed with borderline?
I strongly believe my partner has borderline personality disorder

was he off drink and drugs when he was diagnosed? His GP said he won’t refer him to mental health team until he’s been sober for 3 months but he can’t make it that far and obviously people with personality disorders struggle majorly with addiction and I would have thought that this would be taken into possible consideration

he was once sober for 6 weeks a year ago and I noticed a few odd behaviours/episodes which shocked me as I thought if he stopped the drink and drugs that all that would stop. It was less frequent but when it happened really shocked me.

xx

[m]

I think you’ve made a very brave decision. You may also save his life by making him see enough is enough of the way he’s living.

His addiction is selfishly dragging your life down and destroying your relationship with your children.

I know there are a lot of things to worry about now such as where he will live etc but honestly please put yourself and your children first right now and spend some quality time with them that you’ve all missed out on.

good luck whatever you do xx

[m]

<span style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>Yeah I know it’s heartbreaking but maybe try it n he may realise he’s really losing everything n get the shock he needs. I know it’s not that black and white but u can’t carry on like this.</span>

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<p style=”text-align: left;”>Yeah I know it’s heartbreaking but mushroom try it n he may realise he’s really losing everything n get the shock he needs. I know it’s not that black and white but u can’t carry on like this.</p>
reach out to support services

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Would you consider moving home?

I know you probably feel like you can’t turn your back on your son as he’s your baby but you are being terrorised due to his addiction.

you need to get an injunction and put boundaries in place.

it must be awful having dealers turning up and unless you move or he’s clean I guess this will keep happening.

I think you should get in touch drugfam they can give you some advice and with families Annonymous to join a group for families affected by a loved ones addiction. Seek some one to ons Counselling for you too around your feelings and self harm.

you must protect yourself. You are also enabling his addiction by giving him money. See it as you being kinder by stopping this.

I don’t know if this has been any help but sounds an unbearable situation.

he’s your son, you love him and I’m sure he loves u very much but he is unwell and his behaviour is unacceptable.

xx

 

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You need a medical detox by sounds of things.

I know there’s a fear around going to services but you should contact local drug services for their help and support.

they may involve children’s services but only for support and if you are engaging with treatment you won’t risk losing your children.

surely that’s better than killing yourselves.

so sad to hear how trapped you feel in your addiction and as a mother it’s so scary for you. There is help there.

if you feel nervous about going to a service then go to a NA meeting I’m sure there will be others there recovering from opiate addiction and be able to offer advice and support.

good luck xxx

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Oh no.it’s  So heartbreaking and confusing, it’s like you don’t know what’s real Or not.

Christmas Day he had been up all night from night before, left our house off his head on drink and coke and went to his family, I gave him money to put on grave for his family which was spent on drink then received lots of paranoid phone calls. He came home Boxing Day 4am tried it on as if nothing happened. I spent the next few days really upset and angry as was hoping for a normal Christmas.

he left and went on a 3 day bender starting new year eve and had promised to be home and was missing for 4 days.

When he called me he was wanting to come home, I refused, he offered to take me for food and pay back a little of money he owed for parking tickets (car in my name) I declined and said I’m going away with friends for a peaceful weekend. Which is the first time in 2 years I’ve done this. He then went on another bender and from last night to today when I arrived home was messaging off his brother number off his head pretending to be his brother telling me he’s coming to hotel and to give me a heads up etc and asking for room number as was paranoid. I knew it was my partner messaging off his head again and not brother which his brother confirmed.

ruined last evening and morning away.

he’s become so paranoid he’s deluded.

im going to tell him I don’t want anything to do with him till he gets into treatment again if that’s what he chooses. I don’t know how I feel anymore. It’s all mad.

Feel like I don’t know him. The behaviour is rather narcissistic and his empathy is lowered by the coke.

I’m depressed and exhausted as I’m sure you are.

have car on finance in my name which he pays but he can’t keep up with the tickets he’s incurred so owes me money for them. 5 more came after new year that I cannot afford.what a complete mess eh

It’s good that he wants help but like u said u have no trust

 

all the blocking is horrible for you and confusing

have u spoke?

x

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Hi Lizzie,

How are you?

what’s happened since Christmas?

Mine was completely ruined along with New Year’s Eve which I spent alone.

I have to admit I’ve lashed out too a few times out of sheer frustration from this crazy making behaviour and lies.

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