Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
I’m so sorry to hear your son has gone back to prison Ali. My son is due in court tomorrow! It’s all so alien to me, it’s so hard accepting our sweet boys brought up in loving homes have gone down this route. I wouldn’t wish this situation on anyone but it does help to know I’m not alone. Take care and best wishes to you.
Well my son is now 30 and having found a room to rent and a job a year ago I thought things were improving for him. However, he has managed to lose his accommodation and several jobs and is now on bail and due in court for a crime I believe was to get money for drugs and so the misery goes on! He has a roof over his head at the mo but fear the next one will be a prison cell. I just can’t see where this is all going to end. I live in hope he will turn his life around and see him most weeks to keep lines of communication open but can’t keep trying to sort his problems out. He is a man now not a boy!
I feel so much for you as I’m in a similar situation. I thought my son who has just had his 30th birthday had finally turned his life around and was shocked and saddened to discover yest that he has been in court for forging a cheque, which luckily was stopped and not for much money, to get money for drugs. I just can’t understand why he does it. He had a good upbringing and nobody else in the family has done anything like this. I’ve had about 14 years of it now. I’ve helped him so much over the years and each time I think he is on the mend it all goes pear shaped again. He’s been homeless, had jobs and relationships but lost them all. He just never seems to learn. He’s due in court again soon and I fear he will end up in prison. Drugs have ruined his life and made my life a misery, turning a sweet boy into a criminal! I feel so ashamed. I even moved after 33 years in my house to another place so neighbours don’t know and I don’t feel such a failure. It’s so hard turning your back on your son so I try to see him once a week or so but can’t believe a word he tells me now.
Hi endofmyteath, it’s an awful situation to be in. We don’t envisage this when we have our kids. I know how you feel, it’s so hard seeing them destroy their lives. My son is still homeless although we have him stay at weekends. He sofa surfs with all sorts I believe in the week and goes to a charity run centre weekday mornings for showers, food, drink and advice etc but it isn’t open at weekends so has no where to go. As a parent I can’t bear the thought of him starving and cold all weekend so go 20 miles to collect him on Friday, feed him up, and take him back Monday. It’s putting a strain on us as It’s like having a young child again as I don’t feel I can trust him to be left so have to take him to his brothers to stay the night if my husband and I want a night out. Some weekends he’s not too bad and helps out other times he just sits about looking utterly miserable. It must be boring for him staying with us at 28 after having had his own place for several years but it’s his own fault he lost it and jobs and his friends through stupid drugs. I just don’t know where it’s all going to end. He went out for a couple of hours yest and I’m sure I could smell weed when he came back so suspect he’s still doing it despite agreeing he wouldn’t whilst staying at ours. I get cross and say I won’t get him if he doesn’t stop but with winter upon us I don’t know if I can go though with it. He looks so much better after staying the weekend having slept properly, been fed, shaved etc. and I suppose I still have some hope he can turn his life round but for how much longer I don’t know. I hope we can post some positive outcomes one day. In the meantime stay strong and look after yourselves. X
I know exactly how you all feel, I’ve put up with exactly the same for years but have had to toughen up and come to the conclusion that my 28 year old son won’t change unless HE wants to. I have done all I can to try and help him and I believed he wanted to change his ways but it was all talk and no action! I’m not bailing him out anymore or giving him money. I will always be here for him for a meal or buy him toiletries etc but that’s it until I see evidence that he has changed. He was such a sweet boy, you never think it could happen to your family and such a shock when it does. I also dread the thought of winter coming and him being homeless. Perhaps they have to get this low to bring them to their senses! Stay strong and look after yourselves ladies.x
Thanks for all your comments. It’s dreadful watching your kids ruin their lives whether it’s through drink or drugs. Your friend has a good point saying if they are old enough to put it in their body they are old enough to sort out where they live. I’m staying strong and sticking to our decision not to have him live with us as I also know I can’t trust him.
Winny, you must put yourself first now, you have helped your son as much as you can but it isn’t helping your health with all the stress he is causing you so please please take care. XThanks Amber it sounds like we are going through the same thing. Unfortunately my son has just admitted the that he does cocaine now and that was why he lost his place at the night shelter! He was doing it every day at one time but hasn’t got the money to do it as much now. I also think the drugs have altered his mind and attitude. As you say let’s hope they will come round and seek help and we can post something positive in the future. Fingers crossed for everyone going through this sort of thing.
Thanks Claire for responding. I’m sorry you are also having worries with your son although it has helped to know I’m not the only one going through it. There doesn’t seem to be a group local to me but a friend has just persuaded me to make an appoint to see my Doctor for advice and perhaps something to help me sleep and feel better. I hope things improve for you and both our sons in the future.