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My Mom was a Alcoholic when I was young, I have now for the last 15 years used Cocaine and gradually increased from beer to full out booze…. I can function and hold a great job….. Although I fucking hate it and I wish I could stop….. I know my wife is feeling the same as you…. I seriously want to hold her again and say everything will be fine it kills me and I don’t show it…… My whole family Grandparents Mom Dad Sister Friends have all passed it kills me, I cry a lot I feel pain…. I drink and do drugs regularly…. I hate myself for it……. My wife dosent deserve this life, what’s an excuse….. my lose of loved ones….there’s no excuse…. I hide booze and drugs everywhere and I’m sure my wife knows as well I’m sure you know, I feel like a piece of shit most days…..I’m sure your husband feels the same….. There’s a time to stay and a time to go…….. Nobody needs to live through the bullshit an alcoholic puts family through…. As much as I love my wife, if she left me…… I believe I would seek treatment, she deserves a better life…… It’s hard to break habits…… There’s a pot of gold on the other side, you can’t help him nobody can….. when he’s ready to sober up it means total change….. as heartbreaking as it is, try to be civil and continue to love…