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Thank you, I appreciate it. I felt so alone so having all your help means an incredible amount to me. Just knowing I am not alone is extremely beneficial. I am now fine during the day. However morning & night time I feel dreadful. I gaze out the window at night wondering where he’s sleeping & if he’s safe then in the morning wake up & wonder if he’s ok. I just keep telling myself it’s his choice and there’s nothing I can do about it. I remind him every day through message that I love him and am here to support him when he’s ready. I am firmly standing by the decision that he can never live in our home again. The 3 other children need a stable environment. I have to keep thinking we must let them go and with hope they’ll find the right path. I know you must all be as equally heart broken and am glad to have found this site. X
Can’t take no more. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me, I truly appreciate it! I have been messaging my son, not insisting he does anything just telling him that we love him and are here whenever he wants help & support. He can never live in our home again, due to the younger kids, as it’s too big a risk to take. My parents have told him that when he’s ready to see a counsellor and therapist that their door is open and he can have a chance living with them. It is so difficult, but I know you’re right it’s his fight and I have to step back and let go. I know being so upset and on edge all the time isn’t giving my other 3 kids a good life either so I need to try and move on. It’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever encountered in my entire life. I’m glad to have found support & thank you! It makes it that little but easier having people who understand without judgement. X
Thank you, I will have a look at the site. I’m beside my self with worry and amn’t coping very well at all. I knew that to protect his 3 sisters and not to not enable him meant I’ve had to let him go. I was so worried one of them would find something & take it not knowing what it was. I just hurt so badly and feel such a failure as a mother.