[mama12]

I like you am holding out for some support. He can’t do it on his own. He needs professional help and he has made an appointment. He has a lot of demons & I’m just hoping he will finally be able to face them & I can have my husband back. I know there is no quick fix & things will get worse before they get better but it’s a start.

I’m just waiting for Icarus to get back to me. Admitting I need help has been a big step for me.

I hope they can help you too x

[mama12]

I agree I have never felt so alone in my life. It’s such a heavy burden to carry on your own. I’ve admitted to myself I can’t do it on my own so am hoping Icarus counsellor contacts me now I’ve finally asked for some help. I urge you to do the same if you haven’t already.

I have no tears left I just feel very sad all the time.

I don’t doubt for a minute that you aren’t selfish.

Alcohol will always comes first which clouds his judgement and he reacts so differently to if he was sober. It’s a constant battle. And I’m so tired of feeling this way.

I hope you can enjoy your holiday. Take care x

[mama12]

I feel I am betraying him if I tell his family. Told him last night he needs professional help and he needs to make the call. He has today to do it or I will tell his sister. I can’t deal with it on my own anymore.

Also emailed Icarus for support.

It’s so hard as I still see glimpses of the man I married.

This would be so much easier if I didn’t love him so much.

[mama12]

Hi – I also ask myself am I to blame. Am I enabling him?!

People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. I’m beginning to realise I deserve better x

[mama12]

Hi

I have just emailed you

Many thanks Helen

[mama12]

I don’t drink. Never liked the taste of it tbh & I like to be in control.

Well done for beating it. I know it’s not easy and must be even harder when your partner drinks.

I totally get that. I’m just waiting for something bad to happen.

What will it take & how long can I carry on living like this?

I have my own stuff to deal with and just feel something is going to give soon.

[mama12]

He works really hard.

During the week he starts as soon as he gets home 4+cans of cider and 1-2 bottles of white wine.

At weekends he will start about 11am. Sometimes has a drink before he’s eaten. He also takes prescribed painkillers and amitriptyline. Lethal combination. He has always liked a drink. Known to be life and soul of any family gatherings but they don’t see him when he comes home and drinks more. He glazes over, starts slurring, stumbling about. And then wonders why I don’t want to sleep with him?

It started about 15 years ago.

[mama12]

We get on so well. He’s very loving and attentive most of the time. If he wasn’t I’d have left a long time ago.

I just know not to tell him or say anything to him after about 9pm. He’s whole demeanour changes. I’ve told him it’s like living with Jekyll and Hyde.

He was wasted when I got home on Friday. He makes stupid comments and I’ve learnt to just ignore them & went to bed. Saturday as soon as he got home he said sorry but I didn’t even have the energy to ask him what he was sorry for. I just do not know what to say to him anymore so we just act normal. It’s absolute madness. I feel something is going to give soon

[mama12]

Psighco – I also ask myself am I to blame. I am enabling him?!

People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. I’m beginning to realise I deserve better x

[mama12]

I work with patients that have alcohol related issues. I know exactly the damage he’s causing. Still he drinks even though he’s admitted he has a problem. I thought that was half the battle?!

Used to go to work to escape but I’ve had some problems of my own to deal with there too. Some days I am scared I will just break down at work which I really can’t do that’s when I call the Samaritans and just vent.

I don’t know what the answer is but you can always talk to me if it helps

[mama12]

Hi girls xx

I know. We’ve been together for 23 years. Known each other for nearly 30 years. He’s my brothers best friend! My brother doesn’t even know what’s going on as he lives miles away & they only speak on the phone.

Friday night I came home and found him wasted again. He had work Saturday so I just left him to it. When he got home Saturday he just said sorry. I didn’t say anything because I do not know what to say anymore. I couldn’t even look at him.

Spent the weekend acting normal like nothing happened. I can’t live like this anymore but I don’t know what else to do that won’t cause upheaval for me.

[mama12]

Hi Helen/psighco

I am a nurse so I know the damage he’s doing. I have got numbers for him to call. I’ve told him I can’t do it for him but I will support him through it. I’ve also told him I don’t know how I’m going to feel about him afterwards.

We were soulmates. I’ve never felt so distant from him in all our time together. l just feel numb to it all now.

It’s nice to know I’m not alone x

[mama12]

I’ve rung Samaritans a few times just so I could talk to someone. They can’t advise just listen.

I will look up Icarus now.

Many thanks and hope you’re ok too

[Author]

Posts