[marion]

Hi, sorry not replied sooner, wanted to read your post carefully again. You have had a terrible time, hope you have supportive friends.

Can quite understand why weed is a better option than ketamine, why do they even try these things for heavens sake!! And it is soul destroying.

I have a younger son who, like your older children, has seen what has happened to his uncle and brother with drugs and hates it. He has stopped seeing friends because he doesn’t like how they drink. He is also living at home, but barely speaks to his brother and spends a lot of his time trying to avoid him. They were good friends when they were little.

You are doing everything possible for your boys, there is enough to worry about in the present without thinking too much about the future, it will keep you awake at night and it sounds like your boys are slowly going in the right direction. Know what you mean about being a carer, that’s what I am too. The psychiatrist we spoke to said that I was my son’s “frontal lobe”, basically I did all the thinking for him! We must have super brains with all the thinking we have to do!!

Like you said they are manipulative and good liars, my boy is good at talking to me when he needs me….(or money) and he knows how to pull on the heart strings, need to remember that…

Hope you are having a good week with your boys and also feeling ok, thank you again for your messages xx

[marion]

Hello, and thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It does give me some hope that your eldest son is living independently and that has helped to restrict his drug use, that is what I am hoping will happen with our son if /when we can get him to move out.

What a nightmare for you having to cope with a second child on ketamine ( my son has admitted to using it and “everything ” previously too, says it’s just weed atm). You are being strong dealing with it and at least your second son knows you mean what you say, hope I can be the same. My mum could never say no to my brother. He conned her out of money by saying he was doing up a couple of vans to sell, but they always needed another part before they could be sold (which she paid for). She was really shocked when we were able to tell her there were no vans. She always gave him the benefit of the doubt. He took her bank card and was taking money out of her account when she was in hospital for the last time. He also didn’t want to give up the drugs. She was sad and depressed and worried what would happen to him when she was gone.

That is why I admire you in being able to take a stand and taking some time out for you, as you say, there seems to be nothing we can do to help them stop if they don’t really want to.

Thanks again, it does help knowing other people understand, and I am going to take some time to read other posts too.

Best wishes x

[marion]

Hello Lime18, thank you for your message. So sorry for you and your son too, hopefully you will also stay strong and find some peace of mind. It is helpful to find a community of people who do understand, with very best wishes to you.

[marion]

Sorry pressed submit!!!! Hope this is ok…. anyway, he is using constantly, has been aggressive (police called twice when he was younger), threatened suicide ( which we have taken seriously and tried to get him help for). We need him to move out, it is too hard to keep living with him like this and seeing him like this. We have tried rehab, counselling, doctors, psychiatrists, nothing changes. We can’t have our friends to visit as we never know if he will have a melt down and the house can smell of cannabis (he smokes in the shed). He has a job (for now), so can support himself.

Just need to be able to ask him to move out, but struggling with it. Feel like the worst mother for not being able to stop him becoming so unhappy. His life is so sad, I’m scared he will end up like my brother.

Sorry for extra long post, no friends to talk to who would understand. Thank you.

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