So sad to hear these stories, my son still lives with us (he’s 24) and now has mental health issues which makes it now too hard to ask him to leave. People told me to ask him to leave years ago, tough love and all that. Looking back I think it would have helped him to reach rock bottom. We all want to help our children but sounds like we want it more than they do. I’ve learned the hard way, they need to suffer the consequences of their behaviour, hope you find help for you.