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Hi wagtail, thank you for sharing your story. It’s so heartbreaking knowing so many families are going through the same thing. We haven’t heard from our son since last weekend and I’m hoping no news is good news! It is so difficult as he really needs to stand on his own two feet and be accountable for his behaviour but at the same time you want to know they are ok! He is going online though (we can see that on messenger). I have ordered a couple of books recommended on here which have arrived today so I’ll start on those and I’m going to contact the icarus trust for some support. I think we have to look after ourselves in order to able to support our children, easier said than done thou! Take care xx

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Also meant to add I’ve accessed some counselling through my work, it was only for 6 sessions but was good to be able to talk honestly with someone who was totally impartial. I didn’t have to let my managers know about it as I could self refer. Take care x

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Hi Drainedmum, I’m so sorry you are also going through this. It sounds as though you really need help. Have you spoken to your GP? You need to look after your own mental health first and foremost in order to cope with your sons issues.

We have had to make our son leave our home as we felt similar to you and felt we were enabling his lifestyle with him being home. It is very early days but mentally I feel better, obviously the worry is still there but the constant anxiety has reduced and we have some space to breathe!

Hopefully you will get some advice on other help available. Please take care and know you are not alone xx

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Hi Jem, sorry you are going through this too. I have ordered the book today and another on addiction, I think I need to educate myself more. Hopefully everyone had a peaceful day x

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Hi Tiredmam, I could have written your post and relate to everything you say! We have had years of living like you are, it would settle for a few weeks and then there would be some incident or crisis. I love my son with all my heart but hate the way he behaves and I am so ashamed of him. He has also ruined so many occasions over the years.

We have kicked him out the house on numerous occasions over the years but have always had him back. This time however we are at the end of our teather with him and he is not coming back.

I keep holding on to the sweet boy he was before the drugs took hold and hope and pray we can get him back.

Hi 68862, my son also has a problem with gambling, do you think that goes hand in hand with the drugs?

I hope everyone has a peaceful Easter Sunday xx

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Thanks for your replies. I will check out the book recommended and the ongoing thread. I’m so glad I found this site as I feel I cannot be honest with family and friends as his behaviour seems so shameful and I still feel like I want to protect him from peoples bad opinions! It is heartbreaking knowing so many people are going through the same thing.

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Thanks for your replies. I will check out the book recommended and the ongoing thread. I’m so glad I found this site as I feel I cannot be honest with family and friends as his behaviour seems so shameful and I still feel like I want to protect him from peoples bad opinions! It is heartbreaking knowing so many people are going through the same thing.

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I don’t think he wants to stop yet. He thinks it is under control and everyone does it. You’re right screaming and shouting doesn’t help although we have done more than our fair share of it! The only thing we haven’t done until now is tough love as he’s always had a nice house to live in and food in the cupboard. The reason he had to leave is that he repeatedly broke the ground rules so we cannot go back there. Thanks for your reply

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Thanks for replying, I’m trying to be strong but it’s really difficult isn’t it? It’s also causing issues between me and my husband and we need to try and be a united front. I will give him details of drug agencies and the local council.

It is so difficult not to blame yourself , I do think he has a mental health issue that he needs to address but he thinks he is fine it’s everyone else with the problem! We seem to lurch from one crisis to another with him.

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It is nice to hear you are doing well at the moment danman83, it gives me hope that things can change. Do you think there is anything we can do or say that will make a difference to our son? I guess I’m still hanging on to him having a light bulb moment and realising he is on the wrong path!

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