[michelle8t6]

Me too. You’re not alone, reading so many kind responses to so many people in our position has already began to help me. You have made the first step to wanting to change. That alone is brilliant, you should be proud of yourself.

[michelle8t6]

Death will not bring you peace, death is death. It’s the end, it doesn’t bring YOU anything, it only brings misery to those who love you. There is help out there, that’s why we are all on here. We’ve already made the first step to being better. My uncle took his own life, and the impact it has had on the whole family is indescribable. His mother my Grandmother is in a bad way, and we’re talking 14 years down the line. My mother his sister, she’s been on anti depressants and I mean addicted to them since he left us. His children are lost, in and out of prison (why would dad leave me) it’s not the answer for anybody, life should be cherished, the good and the bad. I’m on here to try and help myself but also I hope I can help others along my own journey. I took coke Friday night, and the guilt I felt the next day the shame and the guilt was unbearable. I’m holding onto that shame and trying to better myself. Summit has to give, and i think now is the time to change. Before it’s too late. You can change, you’re already a step closer to getting off it. You’re talking about it, open about it effecting your life. Your wife loves you, and if you love her you have to try. I’m doing it for my kids. Stay strong. We’re all in it together on here. I’m so glad I found this site.

[michelle8t6]

Thanks a lot James, I will really take all of this on board. You really have helped

[michelle8t6]

Thank you James, you put that in a way that no one else has. I talk to my friends, we even make a pact as we’re all mums and dads it’s just not the life I wanted. Then boom there’s a bag on the table and we’re all going 3 ways. Alcohol is the problem as I lose all control on it. But I’m not able for the gym or jogging due to illness, so I need to find another way to let my hair down, let off steam. Thanks again, you make a lot of sense

[michelle8t6]

Hi Dan, so ended up getting a bag last night. Now I feel such crippling guilt. I’m not hungover, my kids are none the wiser, I’m £40 out of pocket and I just don’t see the point of it. Yet 4 Jack Daniels in last night and it was a fantastic idea. Me and my partner shared a £40 sat up talking a load of crap. But for some reason I demanded we got one last night at midnight, why didn’t I just go to bed. Why has it got that hold over me. Why do me and my partner need to sit in our living room after having had a lovely casual drink to de stress after a long week of work etc, then midnight hits and I’m craving the stuff. I feel bit shitty now, down Cus I wasted £40, bad because even tho they were in their bed and none the wiser, why is their mum and dad “getting on it” whilst their in the house. We never used to, that was a rule No Drugs In The House as we have kids. I just want off it. I love my partner it’s never his idea to get it, but if I demand it, we get it. So I’m also getting him on the stuff at the weekends more than he would like, he could however say no. But when you like the stuff and someone is moaning at you to get one, then it’s hard to say no. I just feel like a horrible person.

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