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He’s acknowledged it in the past, but like you say he hates it been pointed out. Usually he srugs it off like just leave it now, stop pushing. Then that’s it conversation over. So we can never get in to it too deep before he’s had enough. Hence why he’s never got help for depression bcoz saying I’m fine and ignoring it isnt working.
He doesn’t care resonates with me. We had a blip today. We’re currently living with my mum and it’s not Ideal but I find he makes any excuse to drink. Then it affects he ability to work occasionally, over the years I’ve had to support us and it’s not easy when they can’t see what it’s doing to us, when he’s good he doesn’t even realise how good things could be. Then when I try to talk to him about the issues it’s causing us, like uve said he turns mardy and defective, making out there’s no problem and just let it go. But how can I, why want he see things need to change to make our life better. Doesn’t help my mum doesn’t understand and gets angry at the situations and I’m torn between them. I feel lost, it’s hard to see my life on pause at the age I am. Is this my future…
Yeah I get that, at the same time it makes u angry you also want to see the good side and hope things will improve one day. I always question when tho it’s been so long. If they won’t get help, does he even really Care.
Wow, reading all that just makes me realise how unstable it all must be for u and the kids. I don’t no how u cope with the emotions. I do get this occasionally, resistance to talk, blames me but most days he’s stable.
Honestly u have to start putting urself and mental health and happiness first. It might be difficult to break away at first. But he can’t ever be the best version of himself while he abuses you like this.
I had a shit day at work yesterday and I was upset. I no my husband would support me and understand 80-90% of the time he’s kind and loving, which helps me take the shit times better.
Hope your OK hun, stay strong and seek help. You matter too remember that, don’t let him de value your worth x
Wow, heading all that just makes me realise how unstable it all just be for u and the kids. I don’t no how u cope with the emotions. I do get this occasionally, resistance to talk, blames me but most days he’s stable.
Honestly u have to start putting urself and mental health and happiness first. It might be difficult to break away at first. But he can’t ever be the best version of himself while he abuses you like this.
I had a shit day at work yesterday and I was upset. I no my husband would support me and understand 80-90% of the time he’s kind and loving, which helps me take the shit times better.
Hope your OK hun, stay strong and seek help. You matter too remember that, don’t let Jim devalue your worth x
Wow, heading all that just makes me realise how unstable it all just be for u and the kids. I don’t no how u cope with the emotions. I do get this occasionally, resistance to talk, blames me but most days he’s stable.
Honestly u have to start putting urself and mental health and happiness first. It might be difficult to break away at first. But he can’t ever be the best version of himself while he abuses you like this.
I had a shit day at work yesterday and I was upset. I no my husband would support me and understand 80-90% of the time he’s kind and loving, which helps me take the shit times better.
Hope your OK hun, stay strong and seek help. You matter too remember that, don’t let Jim devalue your worth x
Hi bows things ? X
Yeah I completely get the apologies too, but he has to be in the right mood to have a discussion. Then u feel hopefully this times different. He listened, and it might improve for a little while but nothing really changes.
I got home from work yesterday to another empty bottle of wine, and when I said not another one I thought you was trying to not drink so much he just says give it a rest, like whatever shut up I don’t care. Just makes me think why do I bother if he isn’t even trying.
I’m a little more confused how I fix my issues because I see a future, I married him. In sickness and health but when will our good times come again. I want him to be the father of my children, he needs that too, I no his issues are deeper too but only he can recognise he needs help for them and not alcohol.
Maybe a break in ur relationship and him realising if he doesn’t change he’ll loose what’s actually good in his life. But only way it works if if u don’t let him back as soon as the emotional abuse starts making u feel bad because he then knows he can do what he wants with no consequences.
Hi,
Sorry just replying.
This might sound like a silly question under the circumstances but if he doesn’t want to be with u for all the reasons he makes u feel then why is he living in ur house, causing you all this heart ache and distribution to your family’s mental health. You 110% deserve to be happy and treated right and it is abuse making you feel worthless.
But I get it. We stay. I’m 11 years in and nothings changed. I don’t even have kids with him bcoz the alcohol comes first. Sometimes I wonder why I’m still doing this, I’m letting him control our life by his lack of control of his. But like u say we have good times too but do they make the bad times worth it, no.
I’m currently sat in bed alone while he’s passed out downstairs.. again
Aww yea i understand how that feels too hun, words hurt. Oh yes, nag ! I get that alot. Lazy, it’s my fault. And just the lies, like I’m making it up.
Another thing is the lack of care what it’s doing to our relationship or putting me through. The lonely night on my own whiles he’s passed out. The times I’ve made dinner and sat and Ate it on my own.
They just can’t seem to understand that we love and support them but don’t accept this behaviour, yet it always seem to come first to them. I completely get your last point about seeing the better side to them sometimes but it then angers me why they can’t see that side is a better happier nicer version too.
Hi, hope ur doing OK. I head ur story and see a lot of my situation in there too. Only difference is I’m 11 years into my relationship and I saw it from the start, but I choose to marry him anyway because I believed he is a good guy and will change. More fool me because nothing gs changed and it affects our life on a almost daily basis. He’s lost jobs before, we can’t try for a baby and we are no where financially stable with a home etc. Again like I said he’s in denial and gets argumentative, blaming me and I just don’t no what to do anymore to make him see he needs help.