[molly]

Thank you cornwallmother, not posted for a while because life got really difficult, my son went further down his lowest (his words), he is currently 5 days sober and drug free and taking each day as it comes. My anxiety has lifted but he is well aware it will take time to recover. I’m trying to be as normal as possible but still find it hard to fully relax. I want this to be the change forever but I’m frightened to think that way if that makes sense. He is currently staying with his girlfriend and daughter. I feel like we are still walking on eggshells

[molly]

Heavy heart writing this well I took the decision tonight to tell my son not to come back home. I came home tonight to find he has stolen from me to fund his habit. I have tried my best but no more. I rang him and he was so dismissive so locks will be changed he is in his own now, I was the last one in the family he got support from. I’m very sad had huge panic attack but I know it’s for the best he is not willing to change

[molly]

As I write this I’m feeling so grateful for all of the comments and everyone makes so much sense. I was able last night to speak to my son as he was sober and alert. Instead of talking to him about his behaviour and how it’s not acceptable in my home I spoke of my feelings and how the last month has effected me. I was unaware that he had been speaking with my 80 year old mum earlier in the day. He was very remorseful and does not want to hurt anyone especially his close family which I do know is the truth as an addict is just far removed from their values when in the madness. We seemed to turn a bit of a corner and my anxiety levels decreased. Again I’m hopeful we are out the other side of crazy past month and time for him to do some work on himself. I will continue with this support as it is something I have never done before and found it very helpful to keep me grounded. He is currently seeing his daughter then coming back home to talk through some things

[molly]

He has two girls from two different relationships and the mother of one always stops me from seeing my grandaughter when he is like this. He loved fishing and cycling but sold everything again this time to pay off drug debts because I refuse to bail him out this time

[molly]

I have but I have grandchildren that I live close to, it’s a difficult one my head agrees with you but my heart is somewhere else. Everyone else has given up on him I get no support from family my saving grace is I have an amazing partner who supports me and handles him really well, he is home at the moment and looks like he will sleep off his latest binge, yet I will be waiting for the next one

[molly]

We have discussed rehab but he won’t entertain it, I have tried the tough love but he keeps coming back

[molly]

Thank you for your reply, his main go to drug is crack cocaine but he will use anything he can get his hands on, he has adhd and his reason for using is makes him feel normal (his words)

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