[n1ck108]

Hi

So it’s been a while and I’m reaching out again. I hope you’re all good and still clean.

So after last time, I ended up having a chat with him and he admitted to me that he had been taking coke but then wouldn’t say who was sourcing it. He could see how this had affected me and promised not to do it. – what a mug I am.

Things were good for a while then he was acting up again and getting really drunk.. we spoke again about it towards the end of November and he crumbled and said that he is so depressed and feels suicidal and that if he feels this way in a years time he won’t be here. He promised me that he hadn’t touched coke since we had last had a conversation about it. Ive tried to be supportive of him but I don’t think I’m enough.

The last five weeks have been rocky. He gets angry very quickly and even smashed up our living room on boxing day infront of Mt youngest who is 12… this is not the life I’m used to. We have a nice home. He apologised and says he needs help with his anger meanwhile he has a GP appointment coming up in Jan for his depression.

Today I arrive home from work and he looks different… no eye contact again and mouth moving funny. I outright ask him to do a urine test to which he does but before this tells me it’s over between us…

what do you know… positive for coke. – I cannot cope with the lies.

[n1ck108]

Hi

So it’s been a while and I’m reaching out again. I hope you’re all good and still clean.

So after last time, I ended up having a chat with him and he admitted to me that he had been taking coke but then wouldn’t say who was sourcing it. He could see how this had affected me and promised not to do it. – what a mug I am.

Things were good for a while then he was acting up again and getting really drunk.. we spoke again about it towards the end of November and he crumbled and said that he is so depressed and feels suicidal and that if he feels this way in a years time he won’t be here. He promised me that he hadn’t touched coke since we had last had a conversation about it. Ive tried to be supportive of him but I don’t think I’m enough.

The last five weeks have been rocky. He gets angry very quickly and even smashed up our living room on boxing day infront of Mt youngest who is 12… this is not the life I’m used to. We have a nice home. He apologised and says he needs help with his anger meanwhile he has a GP appointment coming up in Jan for his depression.

Today I arrive home from work and he looks different… no eye contact again and mouth moving funny. I outright ask him to do a urine test to which he does but before this tells me it’s over between us…

what do you know… positive for coke. – I cannot cope with the lies.

[n1ck108]

Yes I have had a look online at the tests

I’m waiting to see what he is like when he comes home shortly and have a discussion with him. The kids aren’t here at the moment so it’s a good time.

There is definitely something going on. I have searched the whole house and his work van whilst he has been out for paraphernalia but have got nothing.

I do suspect him of using in the house. He has had a sniffly runny nose for as long as I can remember and when I mention that he changes the subject.

I guess I just need to be strong and out him. I want to help him.

I’m not sure about cheating, that’s what I was first led to believe but then looking deeper I know he has an addiction but maybe the cheating goes with that later on.

[n1ck108]

Hi, thank you so much for your quick response and we’ll done for being 80 days clean.

I’m not sure about the whole foil thing and that’s what I said in my original post. Us ladies just hold on to every little detail.It’s the non eye contact and failure to communicate properly. The empty bag I found yesterday was the last straw for me as I know he is lying but he can’t even be honest with himself. I really want to help him.

It’s not a gurning expression it’s different, it’s like his mouth goes all tight when talking and then it wears off so I’m certain he is using something. He seems to be eating fine and sleep I think is ok but he has been working erratic shifts so maybe using to stay awake I don’t know. He is doing all of his usual activities.

I know that he knows it’s eating away at me but he won’t admit. Is the test kit a pee sample bottle? Thank you for coming back to me.

[n1ck108]

Hi, thank you so much for your quick response and we’ll done for being 80 days clean.

I’m not sure about the whole foil thing and that’s what I said in my original post. Us ladies just hold on to every little detail.It’s the non eye contact and failure to communicate properly. The empty bag I found yesterday was the last straw for me as I know he is lying but he can’t even be honest with himself. I really want to help him.

It’s not a gurning expression it’s different, it’s like his mouth goes all tight when talking and then it wears off so I’m certain he is using something. He seems to be eating fine and sleep I think is ok but he has been working erratic shifts so maybe using to stay awake I don’t know. He is doing all of his usual activities.

I know that he knows it’s eating away at me but he won’t admit. Is the test kit a pee sample bottle? Thank you for coming back to me.

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