[navy]

Hi Jj11

It’s ok, I cry most nights anyway ????.

Wow what great way with words, if I put my life under a magnifying glass I think it would break!! I don’t like my life at the moment, Im lying to my parents about his addiction. I know they can see how much I’m hurting and they don’t know why.

I can honestly say that I won’t be here in 10 years time if I carry on like this.

Your right in taking a day at a time, just look back on your good days, when the bad day comes. You don’t need him. You don’t need the anguish, the lies and how he made you feel. Look at how much better your life is now today.

Your a strong in dependant woman, you got this. ????

Sending the strength of love down this communication line to you ❤️????

Take care

Hoping your tomorrow will be a good day, xx

[navy]

Hi Jj11

Thank you for your post. It made me cry, I know your right and I need to be strong. It is hard after being with him for over 20 years!!!!

I would like to congratulate you on booking a holiday, wow, go girl , bloody enjoy, relax, see sights, read a book do whatever you want. You deserve the best 7 days of your life.

I think I might be jealous ????.

Good luck, stay strong and enjoy. xx

[navy]

Hi Jj11

I think you maybe right. I’ve worked 7am-6pm today and text him throughout the day and had no response I was thinking the worst until at 5pm he sent me a message to say been asleep all day. WTH. I got home no dishes done, parcels outside the door and he is back in bed. Not even a cuppa ready for me. I’m so sad, I know what I have to do it’s doing it is killing me…….

We have things to do tomorrow together (it has to be together) I’m going to see how this goes and decide whether or not my relationship is worth saving.

I’ve just realised it’s me trying again and it should be him, this drug has definitely got hold of him.

Take care and stay strong xx

[navy]

Hello Sew26

I’m gutted if it is over for you. I do hope he gets help for himself. Thinking of you.

I totally agree with loving the guy he was and hating the addict they have become.

I’m lost in what to do next, I’m supposed to be going away with him but knowing he still using scares me so much.

Take care and stay strong xx

[navy]

Hi Jj11

I’m so sorry to read your heartbreaking story.

This drug is so evil. I just wish they could see what it’s doing to them and us.

I hope you can move on with your life, you deserve to be happy and healthy.

Look after yourself and find an interest that you can get your mind off him and into yourself.

Take care xx

I’m still in my relationship for now. I’m on my 3rd time asking him to get help but I’ve read so many posts that they have to be the one to do it when they are ready.

I think it’s the end for me as I can’t go on with his behaviour. Aparently I’m the one with no love, no understanding. I’m the one who attacks him with words. Yet he still uses and lies to me.

I have really tried to get him to talk and get him out of the house it’s no good.

I’m so torn and cry myself to sleep most night.

I don’t think he will give this up until he has lost me as I think he believes I won’t leave as I’ve given him the choice drug or me and I’m still here and he still secretly using!!

Take care sending lots of love to you all xx

[navy]

Hi sew26

I’m so sorry to hear of your situation but I can relate too.

It’s quite scary how many people are out there in the same situation.

I’ve asked myself the same question why do I stay what’s holding me here. It’s the man I love. I’ve been married 18 years and got him to admit it 5 months ago. But I knew : years prior and asked him but he denied it.

I agree they are like Jekyl & Hyde.

If your partner realises he needs help and is open with you perhaps you can now get him to rehab so you can build your life back together perhaps it’s something you can do together as I believe from reading stories on here that rehab doesn’t have an end date.

You take care of yourself. Your not alone. Well done for reaching out here.

Stay strong

Navy xx

[navy]

Hi James

Hope your doing well and having a great weekend.

Things are not great but I’m trying it’s been a week since he said that he is given up he says he knows what he has to do but I don’t think he had had professional help.

Can I ask if you drink alcohol does it make you want the the drug (cravings) so it’s best never again to drink again.

I’m struggling as we have rowed today as I thought he wanted to spend the day with me instead he got up feeling Ill. I went shopping when I got back I wanted to know how he was I wanted him to open

Upto me. He said he felt attacked that I’m never going to accept what he did and leave it go. He said I’m judging him all the time I make him anxious.

I thought I was being helpful by talking to him trying to understand wanting him to get out for fresh air with me. Yes I admit I don’t trust him it’s hard I honestly don’t think he has given up as I found a small wrap a rolled up note in a bag under his clothes. He told me he got rid of it all last week!!!

I think he wanted to row with me to get me out of the house which worked ive been driving around all afternoon.

Ivd phoned Samaritans to talk as I feel it’s all my fault. I don’t know what to do for the best.

Sorry for rambling on am I wrong for feeling this way when he had said he had given up should I forget about it. I think I need professional help to cope with this can you suggest someone I can talk too?

Thank you

Navy xx

[navy]

Hi Danman83

It was great to hear your story. I would like to say thank you so much for your help to us all.

My husband is 1 week (I hope) free from cocaine. It’s so hard to believe him.

Can I ask you about alcohol is it right that you can’t drink anymore as this provides cravings?

My husband had his first night out in a year with the boys and I know he is going to drink I’m just soo scared that he will use!!!

How do I ask him without judging him?

La 1986

Good luck in your fight against evil you can do this. Please get the help and support you need to go forward. Keep in touch with us and our support too.

You got this if you want to do this

Good luck

Take care

Navy x

[navy]

Hello lovely

I know your heart is broken just remember you have done everything you could

He is an ass***e.

I’m so gutted for you but remember your the good one, your the lovely caring person.

Tahr care and now get on with your life the best life you can live without him. You can do this I believe in you.

Look after yourself

Take care

Thinking of you xx

[navy]

Oh my love

My heart goes out to you.

He really is an awful person.

I’m so sorry for the pain & suffering you have gone through.

I hope you have a good solicitor he needs to get out not you.

Make sure you get what’s yours

You deserve a happy life going forward put your energy into you and your boys.

I’m here if you need a chat or vent

I will check in.

I’m taking a day at a time. It’s been a good day but I think it’s only the start as long as he stays truthful to me and we keep the dialogue open both ways then fingers crossed it will work out. I’m holding onto that.

Lots of love. Take care xx

[navy]

Hi there themidgetgem

How are you? I’ve not heard from you in a long time. How are you doing?

I hope your well and looking after yourself.

Well since my last post, he never give it up, it’s come to me leaving the house and him promising that he is going to get help, he still hasn’t actually admitted that he has a problem tho.

He says he knows what he has to do.

I’ve told him that he needs to prove to me that he is getting help and when he has the craving to do something else take his mind off it, talk to me. He says he has flushed everything down the toilet and cleaned the bathroom and bedroom from it.

I have come home and cooked for him which he ate, but hasn’t come to spend any time with me, he says he has to spend today on his own and take tomorrow off work. He needs to work on himself.

I really do hope this is a wake up call that I won’t tolerate this behaviour anymore.

I’m hoping he goes into work Tuesday and gives me the day at home to clean properly and remove any residue of powder from the units inside and out.

Iam hoping and praying he really wants me and not the white powder and he has the strength and power to let me help him.

He has told me that the last couple of weeks have been hell when I told him I was leaving him unless he got help he said he was getting help and was doing ok until he looked at me and my face showed that I didnt care or love him. (This was because I knew he hadn’t given it up) he was Looking at me and my face showed disappointment not that I don’t care or love him.

He knows how much he has hurt me. I’ve told him I don’t trust him anymore and it’s going to take time and that I will ask questions that he has to answer truthfully to me.

Let me know how you are doing?

Sending love & hugs to everyone out there who are trying to understand and help their familiesloved ones. stay strong everyone xxx

[navy]

Hi James

Thank you for your insight and knowledge how hard it is. If they are trying and are willing to open up I think that helps but when they lie and hide it, it makes it hard to trust again.

As for me he still lying to me. I’m biding my time which is a horrible thing to say but I know he won’t give up until I leave!!

Oh well onwards and upwards

I have to look after me

Stay strong James

Xx

[navy]

Oh my dear Purple Heart. & Bella pop

Your so true in the merry go round from hell it’s so right. They promise they lie they start all over again.

I’m so gutted for you. I feel for you I understand everything you are saying. I’m going through it again. He promised to get help a week ago and he still at it. I found the empty bag hidden and the white stuff on my units!!! He didn’t get up till the afternoon today I was so angry with him because I know it’s not because of coming off it!! It’s because he took it last night whilst I was in bed!!!! I’m so upset I’m so angry why can’t I just up and leave him to it!!! What’s wrong with me.

Sorry to vent.

Take care both look after yourselves and your children

Navy xx

[navy]

Morning James

Thank you, your helping so many people on this forum, I wish the outcome was different and you had your family back, but your here. Your sober, Your doing good and you get to see your little one growing up ok only on weekends but this is good, you get to see her, make these days special and your daughters love will always be there for you.

Your kind thoughts and wanting to be there for others is amazing. I just wish my husband could see what he is doing. He did however stay and talk to me tonight only for an hour. He then complained his stomach was bad and needed to lay down, he has been up & down all night to the bathroom!!!!!!!

I know the first sign of a comedown is tiredness and grazing the following day after been on it, then comes the moodiness and agitation. I don’t think he was strong enough for the cravings of it. Do you need to have a hobby or interest to keep your mind busy.

Do you need to take it the same time of day/night

I read it only last about an hour [the high] is this right?

do you know what you are doing when on it?

Do you remember the things you do when high?

If you don’t mind me asking how long have you been sober now?

Keep doing what you are doing I’m so proud of you and I don’t know you, and remember your amazing, you can rant anytime. Hope you have a great weekend with your daughter, do something exciting and have ice cream, sorry don’t know how old she is.

Take care, stay strong.

Navy xx

[navy]

Hi James

Thank you so much for coming back to me you are really helping me cope with this.

I’ve read and re-read your post.

Your insight has really opened my eyes

I don’t believe he has given up. I think it’s going to take me leaving him as again I know he had taken as I’ve got home and there is white powder on the unit I can’t believe it. (I feel sick) I also found a lump of it on the floor!!!

I think he only said he was going to get help because I threaten to leave him which is what you went through until she actually done it.

We are going out with friends tomorrow and I’m so scared that he is going to be on it. I’m very good at hiding my feelings so I can keep this until the weekend and sit him down to talk too.

I’ve turned into a the woman I don’t want to be I don’t trust him it’s killing me. I love him but can’t keep doing this. He has to want to do this for himself not because of me leaving him.

I want to wish you well and thank you so much for your insight of what happened to you and how you got through this. I wish you well for the future and keep doing what your doing you are an amazing guy and you should be so proud of yourself.

Thank you again

Navy xx

[Author]

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