I know what your going through, my mum was a heavy alcoholic and my dad had left a few years earlier, I was always ‘babysitting’ her and was ashamed to invite friends round. I was always scared of leaving her alone and when I would go out I would worry constantly. You need to find someone who you can trust in and talk to about how your feeling, it may be a close friend or someone on here! I didn’t talk to anyone but I wished the whole time I could. I am here if you want to talk x