[nvn]

Hi Redfox20

I am on a family support group which is helpful for me. They talk a lot about detaching with love, it’s about having your own boundaries and putting them in place and not enabling the addict. Without realising it I was enabled a lot, thinking I was doing the best for him. I would handle the finances and I left him with no responsibility really, I was ‘mothering’ him. I had to change that, he went into rehab and has since come out and is recovery. He has relapsed but he is not back at square one and he is 14 days clean again and going to meetings. I am no expert in this matter and I can only go off experience and what I’ve learnt from others that have been through this too….I take a lot from the three C’s too….I didn’t CAUSE it I can’t CURE it and I can’t CONTROL it. Accepting that I was powerless to control it is the hardest thing for me being a bit of a control freak. I know this doesn’t help you right now but I read your post and wanted to reply and say that you’re not alone, there are so many going through it all at different stages. Be strong and think of your self care. It doesn’t matter if the addict in your life is living with you, they will still use if they really want to, sometimes they need to hit rock bottom before they can seek help from themselves x

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