[onelife]

Wondering if you have contacted any of your local drug and alcohol services they can be very helpful and can point you in the right direction. I have personal experience of this and know just how cocaine grabs hold of you, that whole love hate relationship but it will get the better of you in the end at which stage seeking help is the first stage in admitting you have a problem and beginning of a journey of recovery if you truly want it. many do it in the community via anonymous groups. Personally I opted for a rehab facility I am about to enter rehab again after 20 years clean from cocaine and 2 years into a unexpected relapse. Like you I have that love hate relationship but have much more reason to hate as it has started to destroy my nose septum and sinuses, my mental health, finances and relationships and friendships as cocaine will be your best friend and your worst nightmare, you will think of it in one way or another above everything else and that I hate to admit. But there is hope and if I can remain cocaine free for 20 years after 10 years of using anyone can. What I am saying is there is help out there and life after cocaine, even in the thick of it now, I know I can get clean again. For me I need the time and space away the support counselling and re-education about addiction and myself because the thing about addiction is even after 20 years and not even a second thought given it took a chance meeting and a low period for cocaine to grab ahold of me again. So seek help and support from wherever you choose and don’t try and do it alone search the internet for local services or groups in your area you don’t need to be alone with your addiction . Good luck you can do it!

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