I dont have a ton of advise as I just found this page tonight as a cry for help as well. I get what you are going through, my husband has issues with opioid addiction – you are welcome to read my post regarding that. At least your spouse is able to admit when asked as mine will not until I actually find physical proof. I just try to always always remind him how important it is not to use alone, etc. I have a narcan kit that just saved my husband’s life tonight which gives me a tiny bit of peace of mind but I stress constantly about him using/dying. When he does get sober I try to get extra pumped for his sobriety, celebrating every day of it. But just when I think things are going well, they take a turn. I am scheduled to talk to a counselor at the end of the month to help me through this experience. Otherwise I take things a day at a time, no one knows exactly how to deal with this but we are trying to figure it out along the way. *hugs*