[originalusername1]

This sounds very familiar to me. The problem is you both in the same boat and you need to save yourself before you save another person when it comes to cocaine.

For instance, in my situation I didn’t have the resources so would either die or get stranded if I did manage to swin myself out of this sinking boat. I got help there were people in this helicopter that saw me screaming for help. Of course the other person needed to do the same but if they not prepared or you haven’t got the resources to help them I.e you not got enough space on this helicopter then you need to be loyal to yourself. If you manage to climb up this rope from a helicopter then you give them the rope back hey can either drag you into drowning in this sea or hold onto it and escape with you. The moral for me is be loyal to yourself save yourself but if you going to destruct yourself dont bring other people down with you but cocaine makes that happen unfortunately so best advice is concentrate on you to get help.

You will find your aswell as your mrs personalities will change around each other when you use the gear. To me it sounds like you coming terms with this issue but you not happy with the circumstances in which you feel you are the sole person responsible. It’s not your problem to make her see things from your angle but the best you can do is do this for yourself and not concentrate on anyone understanding your reasons behind this all. If shes enabling you even though you say shes left you a week ago you still need to get the right support and help to make the right decision for you. We all start to change around others that use and I think that’s what’s happening here, recognise this as a positive but dont expect her to give you answers shes focusing on herself and now you got to do right for you even if that means distance, amongst other things but it’s all a step at a time. Good luck I know its difficult but you can do this but if she comes back today or tommorow understand you need to stop this only you can do it nobody can for you.

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