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You sound like you’ve done an amazing job so far, you’ve been supportive throughout and I know how hard this can all be so that’s no small feat.
I think only you can decide where you go next. If you carry on supporting him as you have then that’s great, if you feel like you need to take a step back for a bit then that’s also fine. There’s no shame in walking away temporarily (or permanently for that matter) .
You may well end up doing this for a very long time. Whether you do or not is up to you, it’s one of the few things you can control in this situation.
Evening,
You sound very much like my situation about 7 years ago. My parents always had a glass of wine with dinner, it was just the norm, and then my mum started being secretive about the alcohol. She wasn’t even drinking much, she’d just buy those mini bottles but she’d hide the evidence which is what made it odd. Things just escalated from there really. I won’t go into a full breakdown of the situation cos we’ll be here for hours!
But back to your situation. I can tell you the obvious, there are services available and speak to GP’s etc. However absolutely nothing you do will help if she does not want to be helped. She needs to admit she has a problem but this can be a very long and difficult step. My only tip would be to talk to her when she’s sober. If shes sober and normal and seems like the mum you know it can be so tempting to just not bring it up. To think maybe she’s doing better or that you don’t want to upset her. But you will not get anywhere talking to her once she’s drunk.
I felt such guilt for years over not being to help my mum in the early stages, not nipping it in the bud as it were. I know this probably won’t be what you want to hear but I’m gonna say it in the hope that I save you some of that heartache; for the most part you are helpless in this, this is not on you. Be supportive if you can, be there when you can, offer help if and when she wants it. But it is very important to protect yourself because ultimately this is out of your hands.
I hope that doesn’t sound to harsh. You’ve accessed forums early on so you’re already progressing better than I did!