[pato]

You have my complete sympathy.

We recognise that the more we do for her, the less she does. It’s almost like we’re feeding her dependency on us. As parents we always feel that there’s nothing we wouldn’t do. But it’s getting to the point where we have to stand back. She wants money. But as she’s still at college she’s financially dependent on us.

[pato]

I’m so with you on this. She’s just had a massive quarrel with her mother and me and has packed her bags and left. We don’t know what’s going to happen. She’s gone to a friend’s house but not sure where she’ll go after that. She wants money. My wife feels that we need to give her something, £20. But I feel we should say no. It’s difficult. She has the emotional blackmail which will cripple us. As she’s suicidal we don’t want to push her over the edge. Very confused

[pato]

The trouble with the friends is that she’s now mixing with those who do substance abuse. I can’t chain her to her bed. It’s extremely sad and hard to work. All my wife and I want and need is her to see the error of her ways.

[pato]

Thank you for your kind and sensible words. I’ll try and use some of this

[pato]

Avoiding things that trigger it: friends, alcohol etc, these are the things she needs now: company and highs. The future to her is frightening. She fears exams, university at even though she talks wistfully about going. Getting her back to school in a few days looks unlikely . We’ve said she needs to concentrate on getting mentally well first, and ignore talk of university etc but she can’t reconcile this.

[pato]

Im Still worrying and not sleeping. The fact she’s contemplating suicide makes me feel that getting stoned is just avoidance

[pato]

Thanks.

It’s especially hard for her mother to accept. She’s much closer to her and it’ll wrip her heart out to not show her love and willingness to help, but I feel what my daughter now needs is strong hard willed determination, firstly from us that we’re not going to believe her lies and coldly refuse financial help.

Thanks for your advice.

[pato]

I fully understand your predicament. Since finding in my daughter’s purse small sachets of a white piwder, which turns out to be a mixture of ketamine and cocaine, I’ve been reluctant to go head-to-head with her on it as it would destroy any trust we hold between each other. The conundrum being that I can’t believe a word she says anymore since she started substance abusing. I’ve since been given the advice to firstly stop her financial source, she’s only 17 and still a school girl, and then ‘pick my fights ‘. It feels like a hard road ahead of being very firm and not loving. As was said “Don’t use the word love in any discussion!”

Wish I could help more.

[pato]

Til it’s all over.

I suspect it’s a long haul and nothing short & sweet.

The answer lies outside of me and totally with her and her actions. That’s what’s creating this powerless state for me.

Keeping strong, determined and optimistic is one of the hardest things at the moment

[pato]

Especially with so many friends and relatives coming to stay. You don’t want to upset the atmosphere with noisy arguments.

[pato]

My daughter is attractive, quick witted and popular but is sliding into drug abuse. Takes little sachets (1inch square) of ketamin and cocaine. Used up all the Xmas money we gave her for presents etc on this drug. Also smokes marijuana. Her final year at school looks like it’ll bomb. As a result she is suicidal

[pato]

My daughter, 17, does a mixture of ketamin and cocaine.

[Author]

Posts