[paul0572]

Addicts all have low self worth . Addiction is a by product of a mental health problem .

If he got a smile this woman it would lift his self worth .

They see us as a parental figure , someone in the way . They might love us but we give them no self esteem because when they look at us they see the hurt in our eyes , that they have caused us

[paul0572]

So sorry to hear all your stories . But the fact of the matter is that you can’t help them and that’s the bottom line .

They need months in rehab if they agree to go. Then soon as they come out all the triggers are around them , also when they say they are going to the shop/store you won’t believe them .

Addicts don’t just destroy them selfs they destroy eveyone around them .

Theres a few people on here who have gotten away from cocaine but in reality there’s millions of people who havnt and it’s destroying there and loved one’s life as we speak .

My advice is ask him to go to rehab . If he doesn’t want to go. Then you walk away and build your own life until they are ready to admit they have a problem and get the help they need .

Theres no point in checking his phone , bank account , checking his cards and notes to see if you can catch him out ? Do you think by catching him that will make him stop ? You will just send yourself crazy and h will be using again ….

[paul0572]

So sorry to hear what you have been through .

The verbal abuse is just the start when it comes to addicts . It’s highly likely that he was craving coke at the time.

After the verble abuse , then comes the physical abuse then the menatl abuse and the manipulation..

My advice to you is to keep him blocked foreve . You have only been togther 3 months . Don’t waste anymore of your time on him . You can’t fix him .

I was with my partner for 10 years , last 2 years she was addicted to coke . It turned her into a moster, who had no respect for her self never mind me. This girl was the love of my life , we had a house , we were engaged to get married and then coke took that away from us .

Also he will definitely have an underlying mental health issue. As the coke will just be away of self soothing .

Many people on her told me years ago to run away from her and I thought , no this is different , you don’t know her , I can help her see the light etc….

She damaged my mental health and now I’m in counseling every week .

Trust me run away as fast as you can and don’t look back .

[paul0572]

My ex partner has recently told me she’s started to do this ….she was addicted for 2 years …not sure if she still is addicted as our relationship is runied …but she told me the other day she’s recently started to do this

[paul0572]

Wow what an amazing story and I can relate so much .

My ex now has a new partner , and obviously I’m rock bottom . As she went into rehab for 3 weeks but I was told she was trying to get drop offs there .

Straight out of rehab she moved in with her friend from rehab who has a flat in Birmingham , he was/is an alcoholic and he new bf who was a cocaine addict like her.

I didn’t know she had a new bf as she kept this very quiet .

I had to drive there a few weeks ago as she was in a right mess. Saying she felt like she was gonna die , her heart was comming out of her chest , she can’t cope etc ….drove all the way there and she looked like a rite mess .

Last week it was he grandads funeral and she left he new boyfriend on the night of the wake and her family to go and use with another lad/dealer . She didn’t get home till 9 am the following morning.

I texted he old dealer and he said she even asked him 4 days before if he wanted a mid week sesh .

She admitted to me that she did use on the night of the funeral , but that was only because she was back in the local area .

I really feel like she’s still using and I still want to save her. Is it possible that this was just a 1 time relapse or has she moved to Birmingham so No1 can see what she’s up too

[paul0572]

I mean online meetings

[paul0572]

Is there any online groups that would help ?

[paul0572]

One thing I think to why she’s acting like this is maybe because she is still using .

So he was in rehab for 3 weeks for a 2 year cocaine addiction .

First 2 weeks she was contacting her dealer to take some in for her. As she said it’s easy to do as another lad was getting a drop off tonight !

Then the dealer said no he wouldn’t do it . Then she didn’t want to know him anymore and she moved on to her next target who she was in rehab with .

When she came out of rehab , the first day out she moved to Birmingham over 2 hours away from us to live with some other guy she met in rehab.

The dealer told me he would get messages off her in rehab , like she’s feels like she’s gonna die etc ….

I also got a message like that when she was out of rehab and living in Birmingham and she was so bad , crying ove the phone, I’m gonna die , I need you . I drove all the way to see her in Birmingham! She looked ruff as. On the way there to be the night in shining armour she asked me if she had any weed left in her stash at home. She did ! So she begged me to bring that down with me. Soon as I got there she basically took it off me and went inside . So I drove 2 hours to see he for 10 minutes and she wanted to see so badly to talk to me. She wouldn’t look at m in the face !

A few days later she turned up at my house in her rehab boyfriends car, I didn’t know at the time . She still says they have only been on a few dates . But I wouldn’t believe me if she said I was on fire . So anyway , I checked the camera as she was loading more clothes into the car and she must of done the tell tale cocaine blocked nose sniff about 6 times in the space of a minute !

So my thinking is , she was forced into rehab , got there and figured out she would get some in there . Came out after having the time of her life and meeting her new fella . Still addicted to it ! Knows her family would disown her. So the only thing to do to continue using is to move away from everyone !

[paul0572]

Thank you for your reply .

I just didn’t deserve any of this . The thing that breaks me most is she was togther with the dealer before she went in . Then within a week she dropped him and was with someone else . Didn’t even tell me about him , she was still phoning me and speaking to me when he was with her or when he had fallen to sleep . She says she’s not using anymore but and she didn’t ask for any drugs to be dropped off in rehab , but I believe the dealer over her and he’s told me many things that make sense . I asked her about some of the things that she told him happened in rehab and all of them where true , apart from her asking to get a drop off. So I know he would have no reason to lie about that ! But she would ! She’s such a liar and a manipulatior. I don’t even recognise her anymore after being with her for 10 years. The person I fell in love with died along time ago. Cocaine has taken her soul and her morrals

[paul0572]

I know , it’s just so heart breaking as I still love her for some reason . And she’s telling me she’s off it but it doesn’t look like it by her actions . If she is , why does some one else get to get the best of her when I’ve been to hell and back for her

[paul0572]

Update ! She’s now got a new boyfriend ! Someone she met in rehab . I have also been informed she was with the dealer . Who she was planning on getting with when she got out . But things went wrong for them 2 when he refused to take coke into rehab for her ! So she’s living with someone she met for 3 weeks in rehab ! I’m absolutely devastated with all this news ! Iv been played massively

[paul0572]

Move on trust me . I stuck by my ex partner of 10 years for 2 years through addiction .

I lost myself in the addiction, destroyed me mentally and physically. If I could turn back the clock now I would of walked away straight away .

If he loves you he will get better and come and find you .

Take time for yourself and do things that make you happy .

Trust me I was told this 2 years ago and I thought , no way . I’m not leaving her I can help . All it did is push us away from each other . There’s 3 of you in your relationship and your needs are last on the list.

Just get that now apartment and tell him you will be there for him when he’s ready to get help and leave and don’t look back .

I lost everything over cocaine addiction and I did everything to stop my partner from using and it destroyed us .

[paul0572]

She’s also got her dad to go to his house and told him to never get intouch with her ever again

[paul0572]

Where to start !

So havnt heard off her all week , then she turns up at our house on Friday , wanting more clothes as she’s staying with one of her rehab friends in Birmingham .

As she was leaving she asked if I was seeing anyone then gave me a hug and a kiss and said she was sorry for everything .then she left .

Following day I get a message off her saying I was right about the dealer and about everything and she can’t believe she was so stupid not to see these things.

Then I get a voice mail , asking if next week I would like to go for a meal with her when she’s back .

The next day I get a phone call off her , she’s telling me that the dealer had phoned her and told her she’s a horrible person now , she doesn’t care about anyone now she’s been to rehab and he wants the money she owes him .

So she tells me that she wants him sent down so he can’t ruin anymore lives , she told me that he would decide whether or not she was allowed coke of him , and he used to tell her that if he thought it was right he would let her have some . So her counselors told he that it was a form of control and he was telling her it was to protect her. So they are no longe friends or what ever they where before ! God knows .

So now she’s basically on a rampage of grassing him up to the police and she wants eveyone else to do it . It’s all just crazy it really is !

[paul0572]

She doesn’t seem ashamed at all . She’s just got bk now and her autny has told me she was slagging me off to death in her nans saying it was all my fault ! Even tho when she was doing it she would tell me it was because of her mum and dad and her child hood trauma . But when I first told her grandparents she’s through me under the bus then . I just can’t believe someone would do this to someone who has been there for them through everything and take no responsibility for it ! She won’t spit on me if I was on fire now

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