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Yeah she’s be diagnosed with major depression , anxiety and bpd , from child hood trauma . Then after she was off work for 7 months and I had to keep everything going and paid for , she finally went back to work .
About a month later she tried coke off a friend , then gradually got addicted to it and that’s been the last 2 years of my life
Do you actually think she feels guilty about things and that makes her use more ?
Well I told her mum and dad last year and they said they would help , but there help was a phone call once a week . Basically her issues have come from her mum and dad not being there for her and not loving her .
So I told them all again about a month ago and her grandparents , as they are basically her mum and dad .
She turned it round on me saying she’s only done it once or twice and I’m over exaggerating and she’s only done it because of a way out of our toxic relationship …even tho we were engaged and very happy before the coke started .
So her family have pushed us to sell the house and split up . She’s living in her nans but she comes here quiet often cos she says she misses me .
She was using on Friday night and wanted us to sell the house and find somewhere together and she’s saying she wants to get married and have a baby . But she doesn’t know how to explain getting back together to her family …as shes told them I’m controlling etc….
I just don’t know what she wants anymore and everything I think I’m getting some where , the following day she will be dead nasty to Me and disappear for the night to her nans or her friends .
Then yesterday I didn’t answer the phone to her cos I signed up at s gym and she had a right go at me saying am I getting fit for a new girlfriend and have I fallen out of love with her ….
Thing is it’s her that never shows Me any love or puts me above coke or friends …
Then she sees her arse if I miss a phone call of her !
I just don’t understand anything anymore , this is a girl who I’ve spent 10 years with and know I don’t even know her ….
She woke up today and I had to phone work for her as she’s been working for home (her nans) . But was suppose to be back in the office today but she was shaking about going , so I had to phone work for her and ask them if she could work from home the rest of the week . She took 2 diazepam then went off to work at her nans …it’s like she needs any type of drug just to keep going
Is there any way out for them ? As I’ve told her she needs to tell her family the real truth why we split up if we are gonna get back together . And she needs professional help …but to me it seems she’s just given up on life …she says she’s doing my favour and I need to get as far away from her as possible
What a life !
My ex partner came home tonight . I asked her why is it when she’s on coke does she say how much she’s loves me and she wants rehab . But a day later she won’t even talk about it .
She basically said when it’s in her system , she feels normal again and she can think clearly without a distorted vision .
When it’s run out and shes craving it again , there’s nothing she wants more than to get some and everything and anything makes her angry.
She said she wish she could stop the thoughts of this little devil inside her head , but she said he just keeps on and on at her about getting it .
It’s really scary if you think about it !
She said she doesn’t really Want to stop taking it as she’s scared of the effect it’s gonna have on her mental health and she’s had 2 bad break downs before . Shes currently using 3 to 4 grams a week .
So I said this is gonna be you for the rest of your life then ? She said she doesn’t want that but she can’t stop .
I think I understand it all now and I understand she will end up in a very bad place .
I think my time is up now
Now she’s just taken 2 diazepam and she’s sleeping .
Yeah when ever she is using , it’s like the old person is back .
She understands what she’s doing is wrong . She understands what she has to do to change . She understands how good I’ve been to her .
Then when it wears off , she back to the vilest person you’ve ever met and she wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire !
Thank you for you explanation.
Yeah I’m ok , I’m just sick of being let down by her .
I had a message off her on Friday night saying how she’s made the biggest mistake of her life and she wants us to get back together and she wants to get help etc……
So I thought brilliant finally!
She was staying in her grandmothers house . So she said right I’m off to bed now I will see you tomorrow .
That following morning I woke up to a phone call from a rehab center . She gave them my number as she couldn’t remember hers as she’s had a new phone . So I asked the lady on the phone , what time did she request the info . The lady said 5am this morning .
So straight away I know she had been using . Buy I think why lie about where you are as it’s no secret to me that you use .
1 hour later she phones me and wants me to pick her up from her friends !
She tells me how bad she still is on coke and how much she owes and she wants to change etc….
Came home with me and she slept for 24 hours !
Woke up Sunday and she didn’t want any help and I’m the most horrible person she’s ever met .
Really had to take and to be picked up and dropped straight back down
Sorry I thought you had been an addict . So I was just asking why addicts push people away and hurt them so much when all we do is care
Hiya , just wondering what makes you push people away who are trying to help you and love you. My partner and I have split up now cos I told her family about her addiction and she’s blamed it on our relationship! Wasn’t an issues until I told everyone about her addiction ? Yet she still tells me she wants to get back together but doesn’t know how to tell her family
Hiya,
I couldn’t not write something back after reading your post . I’m currently going through similar with my partner .
What I’ve learned is , they will choose coke over me , you , kids , money for food etc….
The grip of cocaine is somthing really sent from the devil himself .
My advice to you is to get out now . As fast as you can . I am not an addict buy I am a man . No man deservers any woman , especially with a baby . To stick by someone like that . He needs to hit rock bottom to change .
Your words don’t mean a thing to him , just like his words shouldn’t mean a thing to you . Just look at his actions .
Ask your self this , when your little baby grows up . Would you want them to stay in a relationship like this ?
So get out as fast as you can . Don’t listen to the I’ll change , I’ll stop , I’ll delete all the drug dealers number etc….it’s just words that you want to here . But the grip of the addiction that’s hes currently in will take years and professional help to get anywhere near to the person you remember .
If you leaving is his rock bottom then it will make him better . If not at least you know it wasn’t ment to be .
But enjoy your life with your little baby . That’s no life or environment for a little baby ..
I wish you the best of luck , buy honestly get out now or you will be stuck in this loop for years.
You will threaten to leave , he will say he’s gonna stop , he promises this time is different.
Then you catch him again , you threaten to leave and this is the cycle with and addict .
Take care of yourself and your baby . That’s all you have to do
A relationship should be 50/50 and our relationship for the last 2 years has been 100 percent me keeping things together . If I didn’t love her I would of been gone a long time ago .
She doesn’t find anything fun anymore or any enjoyment in anything me do together …
But nothing will compare to a gram of coke , it’s not normal to be like that and I’ve leard not to best myself up about it
A relationship should be 50/50 and our relationship for the last 2 years has been 100 percent me keeping things together . If I didn’t love her I would of been gone a long time ago .
She doesn’t find anything fun anymore or any enjoyment in anything me do together …
But nothing will compare to a gram of coke , it’s not normal to be like that and I’ve leard not to best myself up about it
I don’t think he’s putting the work in because all he is concerned about is the cocaine , and they see us as the naggin wife …
Which I suppose we are but only because we love them and Care about them .
Mine just sees me as someone who is trying to destroy her life instead of saving it