[paul0572]

Hiya sunny . Your words are so helpful to me . My partner of 10 years has also left me and says she loves me but isn’t in love with me . We’ve just sold our house we had together as she’s so unhappy with me . Even tho we got engaged before she started he 2 year coke addiction . Now all this it’s my fault has come out because I told her family home bad it all was . She didn’t admit it and just blamed our relationship, now her family have pushed us to sell our house and she’s up for it because I suppose she doesn’t have to admit what she’s doing to them . She got sent home from work yesterday . Apparently she’s broken up about our relationship , when if fact she came home didn’t mention a word about us and she slept from 11am till 5am , but to me she’s telling me she’s not using ….

[paul0572]

Hiya Jamie , can you give me abit of insight to my girlfriends cocaine problem . Basically she’s been using for 2 years now , around about 3 to 5 grams per week . I basically told her family after 18 months of hell with her and she turned it round on me and our relationship and I’m just over protective and following her and crazy …which to be fair I was but only cos I was trying to stop her . We are in the process of selling our house now as she has to continue the lie that it’s our relationship to her family …even tho she admitted it all to my family and they know the truth ….just how hard is cocaine to get off especially when she got diagnosed with major depression and anxiety before she started taking it ?

[paul0572]

It’s not easy as you get dragged back in cos you love the person who they were before and hope they will come back

[paul0572]

My partner lied about her addiction when I would find the bags lying round or coke In our bed , finally got her to admit everything then she made me hold onto this information for 18 months as if I told her family it would make her worse . She was taking 3 to 5 grams per week , I would sit with her and hold her and make her feel safe when she was on it …didn’t see any end in sight so I told her family as it was destroying me . Then she turned her whole family against me saying it was our relationship what was the problem , even tho we got engaged a few months before she started doing it. Then she started to hide it again from me , I could catch her picking up and never having any money to buy food or pay bills . Now the last week I’ve seen texts from her drug dealer who wants to be with her etc….she says she doesn’t which I kind of believe as she would just be with him now as we are over and are selling the house cos of our “relationship” I’ve been with this girl for 10 years and she’s completely changed in the last 2 years to someone who is so vile and evil towards me. I’ve been slapped , punched in the face , grabbed round the throat by her , plates thrown at me , just for asking where she’s been !

[paul0572]

I was with my partner for 10 years . She had mental health break down 3 years ago and 2 year ago got addicted to coke , the lies the manipulation and now possibly the cheating

[paul0572]

I’ve done the same today , but I’ve also seen inappropriate texts from her drug dealer , she says nothing is going on but I can’t trust her at all anymore and we were never like that !

[paul0572]

She’s never gonna change is she !

[paul0572]

Also she told the member from CA that she is taking a gram every other day ….this is really bad now !

[paul0572]

Just thought I would update everyone , I went to put the house on the market and she backed down and told me she would change , she would do CA meetings etc….she did ! She did one on Tuesday night then got InTouch with one of the girls on there and privately phoned her . She told me she’s really changed now cos she’s got support and she feels so much better, the following day she wanted to go to her friend’s house , who shes taking coke with loads of times . I was against the idea , she told me I had to start trusting her etc…so she went there , and she actually came home for s change ! It was 10 o’clock at night and she had an hour phone call with one of the girls from cocaine annoymus and again was so happy on the phone saying she can do this cos she’s got people that understand her now ! I thought brilliant ! Within half an hour of putting the phone down she cracked a bag open and took a gram of coke and was up till 4 in the morning and missed work the following day ! Let down again !

[paul0572]

Thank you so much for your reply . Yeah I will do what you say as I can’t take it anymore . Last night she smashed her phone up because she had an argument with her nanna on the phone …she lost she shit then because she didn’t have a phone . So she went to her other nans to borrow her phone . When she came back home I saw she tried to call one of her friends like 6 times . I checked the number and it wasn’t her friend who she said it was it was actually her coke dealer ! My life is so crazy it’s just full of lies and manipulation and I’ve been there for her through everything . Now she doesn’t care about how I feel or how much it’s hurting me

[paul0572]

We had the house valued today but they told me if we take it off the market we still need to pay £1000 fee , but we can relist with them again for free. Told her this and she wants me to find someone else now with no fee for listing . Is she just doing this to make it look like to her family it is our relationship ? I just don’t understand it !

[paul0572]

What I’ve learned over my girlfriends 2 year long addiction to coke is that it’s like riding a rollercoaster , there will be ups and there will be downs . For you it will be like living with a hurricane , you will be truly tested to your core and get ready for you mental health to take a hit cos it happens to all the loved ones , especially if you take the bad guy role in his eyes , which is normally the person they love the most , as the brain can’t deal with the shame or what they are doing to us . All I can say is that I’ve done everything to get my girlfriend off this stuff , followed her , shamed her dealer I. Front of neighbours , took her cash cards , told her mum and dad and friends .yet she still can’t stop , addiction is a mental illness and he will now be an addict for the rest of his life , but it’s only him that can stop this . You can’t do anything and that’s the truth …buckle up and see how much he actually means to you , when addiction takes grip you loose the person you once fell in love with ….

[paul0572]

She been diagnosed with clinical depression and emotional personality disorder 2 years ago , which she was taking tablets for , I until a friend of hers Introduced her to coke , but she doesn’t take the tablets now , I spoke with a member of the mental health team who used to come to our house to see her about it , she basically told me that using cocaine is the worst thing she could of ever done , as she was prescribed venaflaxine but the mental health team woman told me if she’s using coke , these will have no effect on her as her dopamine will be sky high and rock bottom , these tablets are suppose to keep you stable but won’t work if she’s doing coke . I’ve got hundreds of them lying round the house as her nan goes for them for her and she never takes them . Yeah I think your right about how she uses me like that .can’t she see it’s no fair tho , but I’m a good diversion for the rest of her family

[paul0572]

She basically told me to leave our house 7 months ago as I was the problem then, so I left. That night she was on the phone to me saying sorry and she wants me to come home , so I came back cos she was in a right mess and I found coke on the table , this cycle of her not wanting me then wanting me is exactly that a cycle , when she’s on it or just had it she’s fine with me , wants me to be there wants me to hold her , 1 day or so after she hasn’t had any , she hates me and it’s all my fault she’s doing it

[paul0572]

She’s had 2 mental health breakdowns and the root cause is childhood trauma , her mom basically mental and some physical tourtue , and her dad not giving a shit about her. Still doesn’t now. I’ve sat them down about a year ago and told them how bad she was on coke and she was telling them she wants to stop and it basically turned into a witch hunt against my girlfriend. They wouldn’t take any blame. They agreed to help at the time , the help was a phone call once a week to see if she was ok , so obviously she would just say she was , and now it’s worse than ever 12 months down the line. Like I said she will tell me but sometimes I’ll have to force it out of her , but this weekend she went to her friend’s house for a drink and stayed there all night but told me she never had any . Many of times I’ve had to come home from work cos she’s been crying and what’s help , last weekend she was out all night 1 night and when she came home she was begging me to find her help. I got her involved with a cocaine group and I got her InTouch with one of the members , she did the group thing for 2 nights and hasn’t been back on since , now I’m the problem all of a sudden …she wants to stop and is willing to talk about it but now she won’t talk about it , it’s just me and her and I’m the problem , even tho I’ve been there for her through everything and supported her ….it’s just so head fucking

[Author]

Posts