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Hi, Elle,
Though I obviously don’t know you, I do believe you can build the strength you need to put yourself first, which is vital to your wellbeing! Do you have any hobbies/interests that you are pursuing? Have you searched for a local or online support group?
Being used like you’re some sort of drug and taken advantage of, is something a lot of people ,including myself can relate to. Feeling like you’re not even being recognized by the other person is another challenge of mental fortitude. It’s disheartening, to say the least.
I’m currently madly in love with someone who has for the most part gone quiet on me, and I don’t know why. It hurts to not know what’s going on, and worrying is something I’ve had to learn how to manage. That being said, she is the one who has to actually deal with the addiction as well as her mental health issues. All I can do is try to understand as much as possible why she’s handling things the way she is, et cetera, and be there when called upon.
You’re right that people are more than their addiction, and you also know that until someone is fully committed to getting clean, whatever that means for them, there’s not much anyone else can do. Hence we need to make sure we take care of ourselves.
I’ve been a listener for most of my life, and once had a boss tell me something that had happened to them as a young child, which no one in their family knew about. I’d be happy to lend you my ears, so to speak, for as long as you need.
Peace.
Hi, JemS,
I’m sorry to hear about your daughter! Don’t beat yourself up. Lesson learned, now fight on.
Drug use can oftentimes go hand in hand with mental health issues. Someone I love beyond words has the same two challenges.
If you haven’t already done so, find yourself a support group for loved ones of addicts, whether in your community or online.
In my opinion, your daughter should be your sole focus! It’s kind of you to want to support the boy as well, but let his parents be there for him. You have enough to deal with! No two people are the same, so how your daughter reacts to treatment will most likely differ from that of her boyfriend. Moreover, your daughter also needs help with her mental health issues. So again, though it could be just me, I would be 100% dialed in on taking care of my daughter!
Your daughter has a long life ahead of her, and plenty of time to right the ship!
Peace.