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I’m in exactly the same position in that I found out January and although we are not officially together emotionally we are. It is so difficult to walk away from someone you love even knowing the relationship as a result of the addiction is not good. Ultimately we have to put our kids first otherwise what message does it give them? I struggle though as my ex is a gentle kind person and at his best great fun to be around. I’m not helping him though in fact I think I’m making things worse for him. I think when they can just focus on themselves life is easier for them and also they have to face some harsh truths.

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Ah Lou I so understand how you’re feeling. It’s tough making the decision to move on as you feel like it’s a betrayal and that your letting them down and yet if you stay it’s misery. The constant lies and manipulation. I tried to support whilst being out of the relationship and that didn’t work either. Still a load of lies and being made to feel like your in the wrong. I know what you mean about cheating; it feels like that would be easier to understand. I would get out now and yes you do deserve better x

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Thanks Icarus Trust. Thank goodness for the work you do and for the support on this site.

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Yes the more you read, it will help. Some good online courses if your safer indoors lol. College is different now…Ive just finished a counselling course. Met a good crowd of people although I can see it would be difficult to fit it in with your hours. Great what you’re doing though…I bet you can’t wait to spend your money on some decent stuff.

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Heh great to hear about the writing. Have you checked locally for writing groups or courses at the college?I think it’s great your writing on here supporting everyone with your experience…I’m sorry your girlfriend can’t see what good your doing on here. You might find a good reading group where the group reads and reviews a book.

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Thanks Danman.He doesn’t want to quit enough and yes big time manipulation going on. I felt sorry for my daughter…not him. Felt much lighter today. Great to hear you’re doing so well and that you’re enjoying a good read. In fact you’ve inspired me to get into reading again. Thank goodness you’ve found the strength to keep fighting this.

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My ex managed two weeks, as far as I’m aware, off the coke. The signs he had taken something were clearly visible yesterday. I’m annoyed to be honest as I’ve been there for him. It’s not the fact that he has used again, it’s his attitude. He is trying to pretend he is OK with not using, he has no money, he’s going to counselling blah blah. I’m aware he spends a lot of time on his own so I suggested a walk yesterday. My daughter was with us and she was pleased to see him and hoping to spend the afternoon with him. He is a great guy when he’s not taking anything and in a positive frame of mind. Anyway I said to him on the quiet that I was concerned and what had he taken. Honestly, it was like a teenage strop..he stomped off and it was silent treatment with my poor daughter like a mediator. On the quiet she said is he in one of his moods…There and then I thought let’s get away from as soon as possible. He looked a state…like a zombie. To be honest I didn’t want to be seen with him. I got back home and felt relief to feel back to normality. We were meant to be going to dinner around his so I had to explain to my daughter why we wouldn’t be going. Then as usual, the messages started. No admission, no apology just a load of denial and shifting responsibility. He was doing this for me but would go on without my support…he meant coming off drugs …total bull. Then I got the if I loved him as much as I said I wouldn’t be so cold…then the implied I must be up to something because I was active online. I’ve learnt to ignore it all and I’ve blocked him from everything now. My best friend who he’d contacted a week ago to say how sorry he was and how much he loved me and my daughter was sat next to me. I showed her the messages now received. She was shocked by the contrast. Jekyll and Hyde. I bought into the dream he could change. I think it was my dream more than his to be fair. I now feel free of it all. The misery sucks the life out of your soul. I’m not putting my daughter through any more awkward moments either. I don’t think he will change his life until he hits rock bottom. He always finds someone to give him money and food. I tried to intervene with his family but they are still enabling him and not one of them has checked on our wellbeing. I’m seriously expecting the only contact I will hear from them is to tell me he is dead. Writing this has helped me get it all out. I wish it could have been a happy post but ally this is the reality. I suppose the message is don’t put up with too much crap. We all have our cut off point. It’s the first morning I’ve woke up and thought about what I want to achieve rather than I wonder how he is. I do wish him well and hope he beats this on his own.

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Not a problem. I appreciate your advice. Just dusting off my trainers lol x Run like the wind. Just as well humour still intact

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Ah that’s great to hear. It sounds like you have a lot of positive stuff to live for. I showed my boy friend my post today. We split up at Christmas. He says he really wants to get his life back and he went to our local addiction centre today. I’m just getting on with my life now and supporting him from afar. I know it’s a tough road ahead and it’s down to how much you really want it. That suicidal come down sounds horrific. Really hope you keep on fighting this xx

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Ah OK sorry. I missed that.

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Hi Danman I’m new on here. Well done for your 5 weeks free of coke. It’s great that you are enjoying your life too as for Ikea.. that place would be enough to start most folk off on an addiction Lao. I dont know your story so how have you managed to kick this so far x

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