[poppy15]

Thank you for responding to my post. I’m trying to look for a job but it’s so hard when you’ve been working for your husband and that’s all I’ve known. My friend is going to help me do a CV next week.

I’m sorry you’re also feeling very low. Being a partner of an addict is very lonely as it’s a unique situation and no one really understands unless they have actually walked in those shoes.

It may be the bravest thing you will do but can you not reach out and be honest with your family? I’m sure this will help alleviate some stress that you’re feeling.

My sons know but they have basically given up on my husband, which is easier to do as it’s not their dad. They are very negative about him and I guess they’re right but when you’re emotionally attached and love that person, it’s very hard to see what they see.

It’s very difficult living with the person in active addiction and I feel sorry you’re in this situation. It’s bad enough knowing it’s going on but seeing it first hand is heartbreaking. I’m assuming you’re waiting for your local authority to rehouse you? Do they know the full extent of your situation?

I’ve been up most of the night. Still crying and feeling so much pain. It’s the thought that the once loving husband isn’t that person anymore and I’m dealing with someone completely different. He’s so cold and unloving . I know really that my marriage is over but my heart just won’t let go. It feels like I’m losing everything in one go, my husband, my best friend, my future dreams, my family unit basically everything. I don’t want my daughter to be damaged by all of this toxic stuff. Her life is ahead of her and I’d hate her to repeat the behaviour her dad is showing or choose a partner with issues like her dad. For that reason and only reason I know I have to close the door. It’s for her really as I know deep down if I was without kids, I’d still be here with him , drowning in the addiction. Just because I love him unconditionally. But that’s damaging too right?

Sending you strength and love. I really hope you can get rehoused soon x

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