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https://www.al-anonuk.org.uk It helps to attend a local family meeting at alanon. You eill find you are not alone.
I am going through something similar with my Dad. I recommend you go to an alanon families meeting. I am going to my 2nd one tomorrow and it helps to hear other peoples stories who have a loved one suffering from alcoholism. You can find a local meeting on their website https://www.al-anonuk.org.uk
Problem with alcoholics is they have to want to help themselves and stop.
I’m sorry any one has to go through this. It is heartbreaking and so sorry to hear about your Dad, I fear mine will be lost soon due to not admitting the extent of the drink problem. He always uses an excuse of stress etc. The health impacts of alcohol so far have seen him suffer delerium tremens, be put on beta blockers for bad heart, incontinence problems, depression and anxiety medication, but he won’t take his medication and continues to drink. I fear for his life, but I’m reaching the end of my tether for helping him. It’s been a downward slope for over 10 years now. It’s like the nurse said not last time but the time before he was in hospital that people go on about how bad smoking is but it is nothing compared to the destruction she sees with alcohol addiction. That was the time my Dad was in hospital and on 95% oxygen support with severe pneumonia, bought on by the drink. He has also had sepsis in the past which I think was too bought on by the drink. Back then the consultant said he was malnourished due to him filling his calories with drink. All they could do was keep him in for 7 – 10 days, detox him and send him on his merry way. The nurse said ideally, he should check into a rehab, but he prob won’t as alcoholics rarely do. They just get home after a detox, last a few days then hit the bottle again. She said they need to want to help themselves. My younger brother cut contact a while back because of the drinking and his choice of toxic relationship with his partner. I feel he is disillusioned and have spent the past couple of weeks mulling over the idea of cutting contact and even said with him being drunk again it can be a goodbye for now. If he sorts himself out then he can be in my life. But I doubt he will even remember the conversation in the morning or even in an hour. I fear he has pickled his brain and memory from the addiction.
I too just signed up to this forum after reading your post. I have been struggling for a while picking up the pieces of my Dad’s alcoholism. I live in a different area to him and have been travelling back and forth to help, visit him in hospital etc. I just feel he is beyond help now and he lost his job in the past year too.
He was widowed from my Mum when we were kids then met a woman who was a heavy drinker/ I suspect alcoholic then. I went off to uni over 10 years ago and ever since I think his drinking has got heavier and heavier with an on and off toxic relationship with this woman. 3 times he has been in hospital this year, been detoxed then got out and drank again. His excuse for drinking now is worry for his partner of the toxic relationship who also ended up in hospital recently. I have tried everything to help… Shouting, stern, nice approach, understanding etc, but he just won’t stop. He says he goes councilling but I don’t believe him as he sounds slurry on the phone and then tries to blame his medication. He forgets things and now him and his partner that led him down the path of drink are planning on getting married. I said I would attend for him, if he stopped drinking. I am the only family member who still keeps contact afterall and worries that if I said no it would drive him further into a manic alcoholic state. But even still now he is drunk again, so I told him straight I don’t want to go the wedding and he said don’t come then and hung up the phone. I feel sick in the pit of my stomach as I remember him when he was “Dad” and now it is just sad to see this alcoholic he has turned into and it breaks my heart. I want to cut contact as it is making me ill with stress and unable to sleep but I just can’t bring myself to do it. So guess I have joined this forum to read other peoples stories and hopefully find answers. He drinks the hard whisky stuff, sneaks off to shops at all hours and doesn’t eat properly. He is slowly killing himself. But I feel he is beyond help.